Story time: When I was in 3rd grade, I had a teacher who pulled an April Fools' joke on us. The joke went like this: he told us we had 10 minutes to complete the ~30 question test and to read all of the instructions before beginning.

After we finished we could go to recess & after 10 minutes you turned in whatever you had. If you read all the instructions they said read all of the questions before answering them. The last question said something like "Write your name on the test & do questions 1, 12, & 23"

Well, because I obviously know better, I just started answering the questions and guess who got fooled... ME! Today, 17 years later, I learned just how important the "Read all of the instructions before beginning" is...

I had some dry yeast expiring soon & decided to make cinnamon rolls. I had 3 packets left & assumed 1 packet/portion, so I would triple the recipe (This is where my logic & the recipe starts to fail me). The recipe called for 2 packets of yeast, so I would just 1.5x the recipe.

I bloomed the yeast & started adding ingredients in a large bowl because I knew I would be letting it rise. About half way through adding the wet ingredients it seemed like quite a large quantity... It was already too late...

Then I got to the quantity of flour...7 cups! 7 CUPS?!?! (That's 10.5 cups for those following along). I learned that a 5 lb bag of flour contain ~15 cups of flour, not because I did the math, but because I almost used a WHOLE 5 LB BAG OF FLOUR TODAY.

So I mix everything together only to figure out the biggest bowl in my house is only barely big enough for this beast. Not only it almost isn't big enough, but this is supposed to DOUBLE IN SIZE.

Next up, I have to knead this. I wasn't quite sure how yet, but I dumped it out on my cutting board and quickly found out I needed 2 cutting boards just to effectively knead this monster. This picture really doesn't do her justice. So just for kicks I decided to weigh her.

While I believe you should never ask a lady her weight, I could resist this one time...12 lbs !!! Just for reference, my dog, Waffle, weighed 14 lbs at 8 weeks old.

So, other than a 5 gal bucket, there was no bowl in my house big enough for this monstrosity. I decided to cut it in half & now we wait for it to rise...

My only hope now is that the yeast were nearing the ends of their lives and are not as active as they were in their youth. I'll probably have to start drinking early today.

Maybe this is normal, but currently it feels like Helena (I have now named her) is going to become a 3rd roommate in the house.

I know there are exactly 6 people waiting on this update so here we go!

I am now a mother of 2. Helena & Magdelena. Please don't judge my spelling of her name, I'm a millennial.

Some of you might be wondering: it's been an hour & a half. The first rise should only be 30 min. As I suspected the yeast have been sluggish and this isn't The Great British Bake Off. Although I have a hunch that @PaulHollywood would give me points for my 12 lb ambition.

Up next is filling these brutes.

Big girls require big rolling pins

It's filling time and I have forgotten all proportions. I think I was supposed to split her again but now, what's the point?

Magdelena gets the cranberry orange filling.

She's approximately 20" since she's been born. I hope everyone is appreciating the consistent clementine for scale.

It's Helena's (?) turn. I can't even remember the names of my own twins this point.

My girls are now mother's of their own. 2 sets of octuplets each. I can't wait for them to grow.