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Sleepy eyed and murmuring at the disturbance of what was a beautiful and dreamless deep sleep, I reached for my phone to see what the buzz was about.
I looked at the time "12:13am", tossed the phone aside, adjusted my pillows and changed my position. Few seconds later, I jumped
I looked at the time "12:13am", tossed the phone aside, adjusted my pillows and changed my position. Few seconds later, I jumped
from the bed and looked for the phone under the duvet. What happened? Well, there was a lag in my processing the contents of my phone's notifications, and thus, an email was missed. Anyway, as I was about to sleep again, it hit me that one of the contents of the notifications was
an email from a company where I had been interviewed a week ago.
I retrieved my phone and alas! the email wasn't a figment of my sleepy imagination - I got the job!!!
I couldn't contain my happiness, but then, being somewhat of a loner, I didn't really have anyone to share the
I retrieved my phone and alas! the email wasn't a figment of my sleepy imagination - I got the job!!!
I couldn't contain my happiness, but then, being somewhat of a loner, I didn't really have anyone to share the
good news with. I thought about my loneliness briefly, but the joy about the new job chased the thought away "New job, new people, new interactions, new relationships. Booya!!!"
Elated and with sleep gone, I stepped out of bed and screamed "Woooooooow! I feel good", while doing
Elated and with sleep gone, I stepped out of bed and screamed "Woooooooow! I feel good", while doing
the James Brown dance. I felt I needed to celebrate my win, but then again, I didn’t know how I was going to. "take yourself to the movies tomorrow" I told myself "Nah! I.T. people don't go to the movies, we download or stream" I answered myself.
"Alright, how 'bout going shopping for new and bespoke office wears?" I asked myself - "But I can just contact one of the vendors on Twitter and have them delivered to me at home" I answered myself again. I remembered I had seen something on Twitter about a social event that
people always talked about. "Yes! It's even tomorrow. That's my celebration, who knows, I could meet one of the fine ladies of Twitter at the event" I thought to myself.
I made the necessary payment for the event, made myself a warm glass of milk and honey, went back to bed and
I made the necessary payment for the event, made myself a warm glass of milk and honey, went back to bed and
slept off like a peaceful baby.
Morning came, and I went through my phone again to be certain I had seen and read right.
As I went through my morning routine of working out and saying my daily affirmations, I wondered whether to drive myself to the social event or just use a
Morning came, and I went through my phone again to be certain I had seen and read right.
As I went through my morning routine of working out and saying my daily affirmations, I wondered whether to drive myself to the social event or just use a
ride-sharing service, and then finally settled for driving myself.
I got to the venue, found a place to park and while trying to get myself prepared to face total strangers, I saw a car backing into mine, and honked to alert the driver. I thought the driver had taken notice, till
I got to the venue, found a place to park and while trying to get myself prepared to face total strangers, I saw a car backing into mine, and honked to alert the driver. I thought the driver had taken notice, till
I heard a bang, looked up and saw the same car had reversed into mine.
Quickly, I stepped out of mine to inspect the damage, & saw my bumper guard had done damage, not to my car, but to the other car. The owner of the car stepped out.
"Why didn't you let me know I was too close?"
Quickly, I stepped out of mine to inspect the damage, & saw my bumper guard had done damage, not to my car, but to the other car. The owner of the car stepped out.
"Why didn't you let me know I was too close?"
A pretty lady asked agitatedly.
"Excuse you? You didn't hear the incessant honks the first time?" I asked.
"Now look at this damage!" She fumed. I was about to get livid and lose my cool, but I remembered I had just gotten an awesome job, and I was there to celebrate, so I locked
"Excuse you? You didn't hear the incessant honks the first time?" I asked.
"Now look at this damage!" She fumed. I was about to get livid and lose my cool, but I remembered I had just gotten an awesome job, and I was there to celebrate, so I locked
my car and just walked away.
"What kind of useless bumper guard is this sef? Hey Mister, see my car now" She yelled, but I was not going to let the devil into my heart. As I walked into the venue I wondered how and why there were humans like that lady in this world- I mean, she
"What kind of useless bumper guard is this sef? Hey Mister, see my car now" She yelled, but I was not going to let the devil into my heart. As I walked into the venue I wondered how and why there were humans like that lady in this world- I mean, she
was the offender in this case, and she was making it seem like my stationary car and innocent bumper guard did the running into her car. She could have just apologized and I would have referred her to my awesome panel beater to get her car fixed.
The event wasn't bad, even though I was punching my keypad most of the time, it still wasn't bad. I scanned the perimeter for any pretty lady that looked like we could vibe from a "hi", and then my eyes picked out my car basher from earlier "hell no! Hell no!!" I told myself and
looked away, but not before she looked at me with what looked like indignation in her eyes. At the end of the event, I strolled to the parking lot, and standing right beside my car was the same car basher.
"Do you know you're wicked?" She asked.
"Excuse you? What?!" I amswered
"Do you know you're wicked?" She asked.
"Excuse you? What?!" I amswered
"You heard me correctly. You're a wicked man! A crash happened and you just walked away" She answered.
"Okay I don't have time for this or for you or for your trouble, so this conversation is over. Thank you." I said, and opened my car door.
"Why's sorry so difficult to say?" She
"Okay I don't have time for this or for you or for your trouble, so this conversation is over. Thank you." I said, and opened my car door.
"Why's sorry so difficult to say?" She
asked.
"I don't think I understand the dynamics of this. So you backed into my stationary vehicle, and I should be the one to tell you sorry for backing into my stationary vehicle?" I asked, feeling livid and amused at the same time.
"I don't think I understand the dynamics of this. So you backed into my stationary vehicle, and I should be the one to tell you sorry for backing into my stationary vehicle?" I asked, feeling livid and amused at the same time.
"You need not emphasize the stationary, it was your fault. You could have honked like you did the first time. You need to respect the fact that I am a lady" She answered.
"What nonsense are you saying? Because I'm playing it cool? Does been a lady excuse your carelessness?"
"What nonsense are you saying? Because I'm playing it cool? Does been a lady excuse your carelessness?"
I asked.
"Do not talk to me disrespectfully. I demand an apology" She said.
"For what exactly?" I asked
"You caused the damage" She answered.
"What da hell? Why am I even giving you any form of attention? Please be gone." I said, got into my car, and drove off.
"Do not talk to me disrespectfully. I demand an apology" She said.
"For what exactly?" I asked
"You caused the damage" She answered.
"What da hell? Why am I even giving you any form of attention? Please be gone." I said, got into my car, and drove off.
As I drove back home, I thought about the encounter with the lady and felt nothing but disgust at how one person could be so entitled, insensitive, inconsiderate, and rude "God forbid bad thing" I hissed "What if my own vehicle had gotten damaged sef. Bad market!" I thought.
The day came and I resumed at my new job.
"So, here's your office, I believe you're familiar with these systems, that's the server room. I love your suit. Anyway that's it" a rather cheerful HR personnel said.
"Oh! Thank you" I answered.
"If you need anything, just locate me"
"So, here's your office, I believe you're familiar with these systems, that's the server room. I love your suit. Anyway that's it" a rather cheerful HR personnel said.
"Oh! Thank you" I answered.
"If you need anything, just locate me"
She added.
"Noted" I answered with a smile. In all my life, I had never met a nice and cheerful HR personnel.
"And here's your CUG phone. I know it's gonna be a hotline soon" the rather chatty HR personnel said.
"Oh well, I was employed to work, and work I will" I replied
"Noted" I answered with a smile. In all my life, I had never met a nice and cheerful HR personnel.
"And here's your CUG phone. I know it's gonna be a hotline soon" the rather chatty HR personnel said.
"Oh well, I was employed to work, and work I will" I replied
"That's the spirit! My man!" She answered with a fist bump. For the fact that she wasn't behaving like the stereotypical HR personnel, I liked her already.
"My HR" I returned the fist bump gesture.
"You ain't never seen an HR like me. Anyway, I'm your plug for anything here" She
"My HR" I returned the fist bump gesture.
"You ain't never seen an HR like me. Anyway, I'm your plug for anything here" She
said, winked, and walked out. It was difficult to believe that was HR, because I had never met a nice HR in my life.
Without further ado, I set to work checking the servers, updates, routers, frameworks, and other I.T. paraphernalia.
I worked for a week, and enjoyed every bit of
Without further ado, I set to work checking the servers, updates, routers, frameworks, and other I.T. paraphernalia.
I worked for a week, and enjoyed every bit of
it, everyone wanted to be friends with the cool IT guy, and it felt so awesome, until the Monday of the next week when I was called to the office of a manager that just returned from her leave. I knocked on the door-
"come in" a voice said. I stepped in closed the door, & turned
"come in" a voice said. I stepped in closed the door, & turned
to face the manager.
"Good morning" I greeted.
"Morning, see I don't know what you people are always doing to this computer, my keyboard is not working" The lady said without looking voice. My heart skipped several beats, because it felt like the voice and tone was familiar.
"Good morning" I greeted.
"Morning, see I don't know what you people are always doing to this computer, my keyboard is not working" The lady said without looking voice. My heart skipped several beats, because it felt like the voice and tone was familiar.
"Okay, I'm new here, but mind if I check it?" I asked. She looked up at me.
"You're the new guy? Wait! don't I know you?" She asked, taking her glasses off to look at me. I felt a churning in my stomach, as I remembered her - the car basher!
"Your keyboard's cable was out" I said
"You're the new guy? Wait! don't I know you?" She asked, taking her glasses off to look at me. I felt a churning in my stomach, as I remembered her - the car basher!
"Your keyboard's cable was out" I said
and turned to leave.
"I know you. I'm still trying to place where. Anyway, how did the cable come off?" She asked. I shook my head and did all I could to hide my anger, as memories from that day came rushing back.
"Because you may have pulled it off mistakenly" I answered.
"No"
"I know you. I'm still trying to place where. Anyway, how did the cable come off?" She asked. I shook my head and did all I could to hide my anger, as memories from that day came rushing back.
"Because you may have pulled it off mistakenly" I answered.
"No"
she said.
"No? What's No?" I asked.
"I couldn't have pulled the keyboard out, so don't make it look like I have a fault here" she added. I stood there for some seconds and had different dark thoughts going on in my head about possible evils I could do to her.
"No? What's No?" I asked.
"I couldn't have pulled the keyboard out, so don't make it look like I have a fault here" she added. I stood there for some seconds and had different dark thoughts going on in my head about possible evils I could do to her.
"oh! Maybe it's the cleaners then" I answered as coolly as possible.
"That's better. Do you know me?" She asked. "No, and I do not want to ever know you" was the answer at the tip of my tongue, but instead I pulled my phone out and feigned a call
"HR... Oh, yeah? Oh I'm.."
"That's better. Do you know me?" She asked. "No, and I do not want to ever know you" was the answer at the tip of my tongue, but instead I pulled my phone out and feigned a call
"HR... Oh, yeah? Oh I'm.."
I walked out of the manager's office, and intended to go straight to my office to ask myself if I really needed the job, but for some strange reason, I went to the HR office and found the ever happy and nice HR personnel.
"Uncle IT, what can I do you for?" She asked
"Do me?"
"Uncle IT, what can I do you for?" She asked
"Do me?"
I asked.
"You didn't get it? Did you watch prison break? Tbag? I think he asked what can I do you for in a scene...." She was saying.
"You didn't listen to PSquare? Do Me? I think they sang that" I teased
"oh wow! I see what you did there. Nice one" She replied with chuckles.
"You didn't get it? Did you watch prison break? Tbag? I think he asked what can I do you for in a scene...." She was saying.
"You didn't listen to PSquare? Do Me? I think they sang that" I teased
"oh wow! I see what you did there. Nice one" She replied with chuckles.
"So I came to ask about someone" I said.
"We don't condone office romance, yet our toilets keep getting clogged with condoms. So who's this someone?" She asked. I was so tempted to ask if she was really HR.
"The woman in..." I had barely finished when car basher barged in.
"We don't condone office romance, yet our toilets keep getting clogged with condoms. So who's this someone?" She asked. I was so tempted to ask if she was really HR.
"The woman in..." I had barely finished when car basher barged in.
"speak of the devil" I thought to myself.
"Oh you really came here" She said and stepped out again.
"Mad person" the HR personnel muttered.
"That's the someone" I said.
"She has served you?" She asked
"It's a long story" I said.
"I'll buy you lunch for the long story. Deal?" she
"Oh you really came here" She said and stepped out again.
"Mad person" the HR personnel muttered.
"That's the someone" I said.
"She has served you?" She asked
"It's a long story" I said.
"I'll buy you lunch for the long story. Deal?" she
asked. I looked at her again and more than ever, I wanted to really ask why she was a totally different HR personnel from the others I had encountered.
"Alright, we have a deal" I said with a smile.
"Cool. Meanwhile, as much as possible, avoid her, she does foolish stuff always"
"Alright, we have a deal" I said with a smile.
"Cool. Meanwhile, as much as possible, avoid her, she does foolish stuff always"
The HR personnel added.
"Noted" I answered and left her office.
At lunch, I narrated my ordeal with car basher at the parking lot and her office.
"it all makes sense now! She came to check that you didn't fake the call. That's another lesson; avoid her, but be one step ahead"
"Noted" I answered and left her office.
At lunch, I narrated my ordeal with car basher at the parking lot and her office.
"it all makes sense now! She came to check that you didn't fake the call. That's another lesson; avoid her, but be one step ahead"
The HR personnel advised.
"Yeah, so what's your name?" I asked
"Finally he asked my name! It's Antonella, I know you'll convert to shortcut and call me Ella- I don't mind that either" she explained.
"Cool! How are you HR and so cool?" I asked
"Yeah, so what's your name?" I asked
"Finally he asked my name! It's Antonella, I know you'll convert to shortcut and call me Ella- I don't mind that either" she explained.
"Cool! How are you HR and so cool?" I asked
"Wait! You think I'm cool?" She asked.
"uhmm! Yeah, I've never met a nice HR in my life" I answered.
"Wow! Thank you, this means a lot to me Uncle I.T. Your lunch for two days is on me" Ella said
"No, your lunch for the rest of the week is on me for being a different HR Aunty"
"uhmm! Yeah, I've never met a nice HR in my life" I answered.
"Wow! Thank you, this means a lot to me Uncle I.T. Your lunch for two days is on me" Ella said
"No, your lunch for the rest of the week is on me for being a different HR Aunty"
"Wow! Free food! Woohoo!" She said as she did a Brazilian dance move on her sit. She took her glasses off, and I realized she was even more beautiful than I thought.
"Wow!" I exclaimed.
"I'm pretty too, yeah? I know I know" She added with a warm smile. "No office romance bro"
"Wow!" I exclaimed.
"I'm pretty too, yeah? I know I know" She added with a warm smile. "No office romance bro"
