You know, the part that gets me most with this whole thing, the part that really, truly gets me is the fact that it’s April and we are STILL fighting for Wonho. If you had told me on November 1 we’d still be fighting 5 months later I would have laughed in your face at the idea.

It truly just boggles my mind to think that back when this all first went down I truly believed we’d have him back within days, that @STARSHIPent would hear our voices, hear our outcry, hear our support and change their decision and yet, it never came. The decision remained.

As time went on it seemed like every new day was a new opportunity to bring him back. No news was both good news and an execution sentencing and living in that reality of him not being free but him not being back was excruciating. IS excruciating.

Time continued and we started to fracture. People started taking sides, people started holding opinions that didn’t need to be held, fighting amongst ourselves, ripping ourselves apart from the inside out. We didn’t need other fandoms to do it, we did it for them.

But in that darkness came a strength, a resiliency that 5 months ago I didn’t think I needed to have. Through that darkness came light as we rallied back together, as we worked through our differences, as we changed our ways of thinking and evolved.

We have fought for FIVE months. We have rallied together around the men we love. We have supported them through thick and thin. We have celebrated where they couldn’t, spoken where they were silenced, been strong to prove to them we could be.

This fandom has gone through so much during this fight and I know that we will continue to do so as we move forward, as we wait for the wrongs to be righted, as we wait for a statement, as we wait to hear from Wonho himself, the real reason we are still fighting.

I’m proud of us for what we’ve accomplished and I am proud of us for what we are going to accomplish. I know this fight is not over yet and I know you know that too. We fight for justice, fairness and change, we fight for a better tomorrow. We fight for @OfficialMonstaX.

I don’t know when our fight will end and I don’t know what it will look like. I don’t know what “normal” is going to be when he’s back and I don’t know how it’s going to change the relationship of who we are as a fandom and idol group, but I know I’ll still be here to find out.

I just want to stop being sad every time I look down at my phone case and see Wonho smiling back at me. I want to go back to being a Jooheon enthusiast on twitter with my Jooheon layout because I can’t bear to part from Wonho until he’s back where he belongs.

I want to stop the pain I see on the timeline with friends and mutuals missing a man who should never be missing in the first place. I want to be part of history as the first fandom and the first group to bring back an artist who never should have been forced to leave.

I want to stop holding protest projects every other day and go back to when our only concern was what hair colour the members had and when their next vlive would be. I just want to be genuinely happy without the crushing guilt and sadness that comes along with it.

If you had told me 5 months ago that we’d still be fighting in April to bring Wonho home because we hadn’t succeeded yet, I would have laughed in your goddamn face. Bring him home @STARSHIPent, enough is enough.