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I know I have a lot of lady followers too, so here’s some advice for you.
[A THREAD]
Ladies, odds are, your man looks at porn.
1.
[A THREAD]
Ladies, odds are, your man looks at porn.
1.
2. Close to 70% of men are ADDICTED, let alone casual viewers.
So unfortunately, chances are, he uses porn too.
So you look on his phone or check his computer and sure enough, that son of a bitch is looking at porn.
So unfortunately, chances are, he uses porn too.
So you look on his phone or check his computer and sure enough, that son of a bitch is looking at porn.
3. Is your whole relationship a lie?
Your first instinct might be to burn his shit in the yard. And you’d probably be justified in that.
Your next thought may be to immediately break up or rush to divorce court.
But I’m going to give you some advice.
Your first instinct might be to burn his shit in the yard. And you’d probably be justified in that.
Your next thought may be to immediately break up or rush to divorce court.
But I’m going to give you some advice.
4. This does not mean your relationship is over.
This DOES NOT mean your relationship is over.
You can survive this and come out stronger than ever before.
I’m proof.
This DOES NOT mean your relationship is over.
You can survive this and come out stronger than ever before.
I’m proof.
5. I looked at porn and was unfaithful to my wife more times than I care to admit.
Yet through hard work, forgiveness, and God’s amazing grace, we made it through and even renewed our wedding vows!
Yet through hard work, forgiveness, and God’s amazing grace, we made it through and even renewed our wedding vows!
6. Here’s my advice on how to handle it.
DO NOT immediately confront him.
DO NOT immediately confront him.
7. I know that goes against every fiber of your being, but trust me on this.
Blindsiding him will only cause him to freeze up. He’ll probably lie and deny it.
Confession needs to happen in a healthy way. Blindsiding him as soon as he comes home won’t accomplish that.
Blindsiding him will only cause him to freeze up. He’ll probably lie and deny it.
Confession needs to happen in a healthy way. Blindsiding him as soon as he comes home won’t accomplish that.
8. If you love him and cherish your relationship, you want to help him not punish him.
I’ll say that again,
You want to HELP him not PUNISH him.
I’ll say that again,
You want to HELP him not PUNISH him.
9. Go to someone close to him. Someone he trusts. A best friend, a brother, a pastor, his dad. It should definitely be a male. Let THEM confront him.
I know you want to claw his eyes out, but trust me, the message will be received
I know you want to claw his eyes out, but trust me, the message will be received
10. Let them lay it out on the table for them. Let them give him the hard love. Let them slap some sense into him.
Then, that man’s job is to get your husband/bf to come to YOU and confess.
That way it can be done in a safe and healthy environment.
Then, that man’s job is to get your husband/bf to come to YOU and confess.
That way it can be done in a safe and healthy environment.
11. This is the best way to encourage healing and forgiveness.
When I finally confessed everything to my wife, we did it with our pastor.
We drove separately and I wrote everything down. It was a safe place & allowed for honest conversations instead of yelling and arguing.
When I finally confessed everything to my wife, we did it with our pastor.
We drove separately and I wrote everything down. It was a safe place & allowed for honest conversations instead of yelling and arguing.
12. He then needs to get some help. He needs someone who can guide him, support him, and keep him accountable.
You also need someone who can support you and help you deal with your pain.
You also need someone who can support you and help you deal with your pain.
13. And ladies, if you want your relationship to survive you must come to terms with this.
This is very important & I know it’s seems impossible to understand but you have to if you want to heal.
HIS PORN USE IS NOT YOUR FAULT.
In fact, it has nothing to do with you.
This is very important & I know it’s seems impossible to understand but you have to if you want to heal.
HIS PORN USE IS NOT YOUR FAULT.
In fact, it has nothing to do with you.
14. It’s not because he doesn’t find you attractive and sexy
It’s not because you aren’t enough
It’s not because he gets something from porn that he doesn’t get from you.
It’s not because he’s a pervert.
It’s not because you aren’t enough
It’s not because he gets something from porn that he doesn’t get from you.
It’s not because he’s a pervert.
15. His addiction probably started before he even knew you existed.
This is not a sex issue.
Porn addiction has nothing to do with sex.
It is an emotional deficiency that he has learned to self medicate with porn.
This is not a sex issue.
Porn addiction has nothing to do with sex.
It is an emotional deficiency that he has learned to self medicate with porn.
16. Something happened to him, probably in his childhood or teenage years that was traumatic.
He then learned to cope with that pain, anxiety, and negative emotions by “escaping” through porn and sex.
Eventually, it spiraled out of control.
He then learned to cope with that pain, anxiety, and negative emotions by “escaping” through porn and sex.
Eventually, it spiraled out of control.
17. Yes, I know you’re hurt and heartbroken.
But the best thing you can do for him is to love him.
It may take some time to forgive. That’s understandable.
But you need to forgive.
But the best thing you can do for him is to love him.
It may take some time to forgive. That’s understandable.
But you need to forgive.
18. His job is to repent and find healing for his addiction
Yours is to forgive and find healing for your broken heart.
Punishing him will get you nowhere.
It will only drive him further into shame and emotional pain which will eventually drive him right back into porn.
Yours is to forgive and find healing for your broken heart.
Punishing him will get you nowhere.
It will only drive him further into shame and emotional pain which will eventually drive him right back into porn.
19. He’s going to go through a lot of ups and downs in his recovery.
There’s a good chance he’ll relapse.
Let him work through those battles with another man, a pastor, counselor, or coach. That allows you and him to focus on healing your relationship.
There’s a good chance he’ll relapse.
Let him work through those battles with another man, a pastor, counselor, or coach. That allows you and him to focus on healing your relationship.
20. It may take years to find healing. It may seem hopeless.
But porn addiction is NOT a death sentence.
You can find healing. He can find healing.
Trust CAN be restored.
But you have to be willing to show love and forgiveness and put in the hard work to overcome.
But porn addiction is NOT a death sentence.
You can find healing. He can find healing.
Trust CAN be restored.
But you have to be willing to show love and forgiveness and put in the hard work to overcome.
21. If you do, you’ll find your marriage will be stronger than ever before.
And you’ll know, that if you can overcome this, you can overcome anything.
God bless you ladies.
Feel free to DM me with any questions.
And you’ll know, that if you can overcome this, you can overcome anything.
God bless you ladies.
Feel free to DM me with any questions.
To read my story and learn how I overcame my addiction,
Sign up for email list here and receive my FREE eBook, 10 STEPS TO LIVING PORN FREE.
I also offer one-on-one coaching to help men fight back. https://intothewildernessblog.com/email-signup/
Sign up for email list here and receive my FREE eBook, 10 STEPS TO LIVING PORN FREE.
I also offer one-on-one coaching to help men fight back. https://intothewildernessblog.com/email-signup/
