hey uhm,,

i want to say something to everyone here, including to Rachel so i just hope she sees this...

pls read the whole thread!!!

as long as there is “+” at the end, there is more to say,

lets start with saying that whatever 0nceandfvture said; ignore it +

what they said about me, and others: it just sucks and it hurts but most of it are also lies...

one of the lies is this tweet (see picture) . saying that you bullied someone into being more suic*dal is first of all: HORRIBLE ! you cant just assume people bullied someone +

if you dont even know them.... the fact that they called me suic*dal doesnt even hurt that much, but accusing random people/ friends of mine of bullying me into being it more: crosses the line.

with this thread i want to clearify that NOT A SINGLE ONE OF YOU (aka merlin twt) +

ever made me feel suic*dal or made me feel it more.

feeling like that is a mix of a lot of stuff happening, i live with depression for a long time now, ive had several therapists but neither one of them understood/ helped me. school is just stressing me out, bullies are +

stressing me out and quarantine doesnt really work either.

people say “do things you like! it will help!” but the things i like to do cant be happening now;

-going to my fave bookshop
-drinking coffee at fave cafe
-visit library
-going to my granny

i cant do one of them +

then there is the pressure of schoolwork that i have to do on my own now, the group project who are not really nice to me and my parents walking on their toes bc of quarantine is also not something i choose to live with....

okay back to where i was going to with this story +

i want you all to know:

-yes i have been bullied,, but it was mainly on my previous twt accounts that ive had (or anon hate on curiouscat)
-yes im depressed / suic*dal sometimes

-but no: not a single one of you is the reason for it... +

i want to clearify that yes we all make mistakes, im just human and i make mistakes too. i wont deny them. sometimes i need a day or 2 to calm down and to see that the person i had a fight with is not the only one who made the mistake. because most of the time it comes +

from both sides.

i dont mean to subtweet here but im just going to be honest.

yes i was in a fight with someone last week and yes i know we were both making mistakes. but that doesnt give people the right to either send hate to one person and it doesnt give +

you the right to jump right in it and accuse me of things when you dont know the whole story.

if there is a fight between 2 people; only THEY will know what actually happened.

and i just hope, (i cant dm bc ive been blocked) that im forgiven bc this person was actually +

a really good friend, just saw and accepted me the way i am and not many people do that... the whole point of that fight (where it began) was a misunderstanding / miscommunication between us that got bigger and bigger the more we both kept talking.

i just want you to know +

that situation DIDNT make me ‘more suic*dal’ . not any situation here on this twitter account made that happen.

not a single one of them.

yes ive been sad over some situations and there’s a lot happened over the years ... some things still hurt me (like what happened +

last summer) but being sad is a common thing.

for this stupid person to assume and accuse people of making me be more suic*dal was horrible, unnecessary and absolutely rude. not only to me but also to the people involved AND my friends.

now that the account is restricted +

i hope it will be all done soon. i really hoped for an apology but lmao thats never gonna happen.

anyway, if someone wants to talk to me about something or want to ask qusstions about this thread: please DM me.

and if Rachel sees this: i hope you understand i mean this +

in a good way & not to subtweet you or the situation we were in.

i really hope we can talk about it now we both are calm & by our own mind. if not: that is fine. i understand. it is completely your choice what to do with this, i dont mean to push you.

thats all i have to say.