Thread by @MalcolmWHW, because quarantine, everyone’s spending too much time on the internet.that’s how [source] [...]

because quarantine, everyone’s spending too much time on the internet.

that’s how [source] found a reddit thread re: my naming oj simpson as my ‘inspiration in life’ for #Survivor

true story: ive listed oj as my inspo since i was 15. here’s why —

got my high school job at a Christian summer camp by invoking oj as my life inspo.

you have to do an interview before attending dartmouth (my alma mater). we talked about oj.

listed oj on my #Survivor application. it was the first question casting asked me. had them cackling.

(as i write this, im realizing oj simpson was instrumental in realizing some of my biggest life experiences. that doesn’t feel wrong, because —)

— nobody with two firing neurons takes that answer at face value. nobody with sense thinks that i sat at a desk, pulled out a pen and paper and decided, “hmm, mlk and jesus were good, but im going with THE JUICE’

here’s why it works: claiming oj as your inspo always begs the next question.

this is the internet; let me explain in meme form...

Interviewer: Who’s your inspiration?
People: “My dad”

-same answer as last 37 applicants
-“why’s that?” the interviewer sighs, mind wandering to her lunch
-sets up heartwarming but lukewarm anecdote
-does not compare person to famous 90s murderer

Interviewer: Who’s your inspiration?
Me: “OJ Simpson”

-no one in history has said that
-“why in the hell?” interviewer says, now paying rapt attention
-sets up surprising little-known anecdote I’ve told for decades
-compares me to famous 90s murderer but that kinda helps

the anecdote, btw, is that the juice (oj’s nickname) had rickets as a kid. one day his parents took him to an nfl event, and he walked right up to jim brown (GOAT running back) and said “ima break all your records”

jim brown smiled and said “i hope you do”

i don’t even know if that story’s true, btw. this is what passed for fairytales when i was a kid. the mythos of my youth was sports anecdotes about underdogs with moxie.

stories like that are responsible for my (usually flawed and unreasonable) moxie.

and that is, but also isn’t, the point of this long af thread.

i was a stupid reckless high schooler applying for a job at a summer camp with older girls in bikinis and rashly listed oj simpson as my inspiration. it totally worked, and has worked dozens of times since.

i stumbled ass backward into a chaotic truth about the world: you have to be good, of course, but more importantly, you have to be memorable. You have to be interesting and unique.

its my experience (creative professional) that getting the job/the gig/the goal is less about being ‘more right’ than the next person, and instead about being more clever, wily, and making an impression.

fair? maybe not. and not universally true. please ignore everything I just said if you’re applying for an accounting job.

but, bringing this home, i get a dozen emails every month asking for help to get on #Survivor. I’ve coached three people over 6 years. Got two of them to the finals of casting (the third was a lost cause, was never going to happen)

when they’re making their 3 minute tapes, the number one thing I preach is, “ask yourself if other applicants are saying the same lines/jokes/cliches you’re considering. if they are, you *do not* say that line.”

id advocate the same tactic for everyday life.

find your unique flavor of weird. embrace it and polish it and rock it.

or screw it — you don’t have to be weird if you don’t want to. You do you, boo.

but you’ve got to make an impression.

and I’ve found that naming oj simpson as an inspiration — then twisting expectations and telling a wholesome anecdote — does the trick.

feel free to invoke the juice during your next job interview. i get 5% of your first years salary. legally binding.

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