Thread

Are we nearly there yet?

Do you remember being on a journey when you were a child, and asking, Are we nearly there yet? Maybe you have been asked the same question by a child of your own.

My wife and I had three children – all adults now, and all the best of friends – and one of them in particular always asked if we were nearly there within 10 minutes of leaving the house, whether we were going 10 miles, or 500 miles.

If we weren’t quick, her older brother would respond in a manner calculated to cause maximum uproar in the back seat of the car. No useful information, but various aspersions about the intellect, character and appearance of his sibling.

This inevitably led to a cacophony through which calls for immediate retributive action from higher authorities could be heard.

But eventually, mum and dad restored order, information about the likely duration of the journey was provided, and an uneasy truce settled over us. Fantastic Mister Fox provided a welcome distraction, at least until the next toilet stop which was without exception an emergency.

But unfortunately, having set off on a journey, nobody quite knows where they are going, or when we will get there. There is no higher authority to tell us how long it’s going to take, and we don’t even know if we are going to like the destination.

We might be going to Granny’s cakes and scones and gingerbread, and Grandpa’s board games. Or it might be a duty visit to a distant relative who doesn’t like children and can’t understand why they don’t just Sit Still but will take mortal offence if they don’t come to see her.

It’s hard for the people who like a bit of certainty, and who want to plan ahead. It’s hard for the people who know that there is no certainty right now, and are frustrated by the people who keep asking for something they can’t have.

It’s also hard for the people who would like to provide certainty, but know that to do so would be foolish, even dangerous.

They know that some people will be cross with them for saying it’s uncertain, and some people will be crosser still when they change their advice because evidence or science or circumstances have changed. (Even although they did say that things might change.)

Nobody is actually wrong. Not the people who want certainty, not the people who know that it can’t be given just now, and not the people who would like to give it but know that they should not pretend to have it, when they don’t.

So if nobody is wrong, maybe everyone is right. Maybe everyone is just dealing with the situation as best they can, and we’ll get through this more easily by understanding and sharing than we will by calling names.

After all, who wants to be told that they are stupid, and childish, and wearing a jersey that makes them look like a hippo?