On Dying. A Thread

1/ I always knew I was going to die. It’s not like it’s a secret. Some choose not to think about it. But why not? It’s an important process and event. I hope I don’t die soon, but here are some thoughts.

Make of them what you will.

2/ Not being prone to superstition, magical thinking or belief in supernatural realms, I strongly suspect that after I die I will be in exactly the same state as I was for the millions of years that unfolded before I was born. In other words, there will be nothing. No awareness.

3/ No self. No I. I am not scared of this. Just as I wasn’t scared during the 10,000 years that passed before I was born. There was no me then and there will be no me once I die.

4/ I laugh at preachers and priests who try to scare or console me with fairy tales about other realms, as if I am 4. And feel sorry for the poor souls they entrap and exploit with their myths, threats and warnings.

5. Now, I do have some preferences over the timing and process of dying! I’d prefer it to be at least 30 years from now, during my sleep, without causing too much upset to others.

6. And I would like to have lived a good life for others and myself before then, making a difference, being compassionate, being creative and helpful and caring etc. I’d prefer not to develop pneumonia and get ventilated and die a week later, without family around.

7. I’d prefer not to have lots of pain before I die. But even if that is to be my fate, I am still lucky as the #NHS will most likely take great care of me, for free, and treat me with kindness and compassion and give me drugs to keep me comfortable.

8. That will not be the experience of most on the planet.

And I know I have been and am loved.

9. And aside from #Covid19, if life becomes to painful for me I hope I will be able to put my affairs in order and arrange my own departure, perhaps by my own hand, perhaps with the help of others, who I hope will not be prosecuted for helping me.

10. These beliefs are, or course, neither new nor unique to me. You find them in the writings of the Stoic philosophers and Epictetus, a tradition I am proud to be a part of.

11. And if, during any process of dying, I do experience powerful feelings of panic and anxiety, or of anger or loneliness, I hope I will accept these feelings rather than struggle against them...

12. ... and use what I know from compassionate mind training and acceptance and commitment therapy to minimise the impact of these unwanted emotional experiences on myself and others.

13. So, those are my thoughts on dying. Make of them what you will. Probably different from yours.
But I think dying is an important thing to talk about, although uncomfortable and avoided by many.

14. Maybe that makes it all the more important to talk about. To help reduce the fear it can induce. A fear and worry which stops many living their best and most caring lives whilst they can.