Okay so I'm a little weirded out because last night I was absolutely certain I was going to die and I even seriously considered Where I Wanted To Die (hospital or at home). It felt very inevitable. Today I am still sick. My throat still hurts. But for some reason it isn't AS bad.

I wasn't weirded out by that earlier because hey! For some reason my symptoms improve during the day but become atrocious at night. But it's currently 2am. I usually get "bad" around 8pm. That hasn't happened today at all.

I've been drinking a lot of water and reminding myself to cough, because this stuff is still in my airways and I don't want it to settle in my lungs. Mostly I'm worried this is the mid-illness "calm" that precedes sudden organ failure and later death.

Honestly all the news surrounding covid is just "hey you're gonna die," "hey you're gonna die," "btw you might think you're fine but so did these other people and oh also they died."
It's easy to work yourself into an anxiety attack while educating yourself on it, and sadly...

...anxiety attacks can FEEL like you're actively dying. So it worsens an already terrible problem.
So now that I'm starting to feel better, I'm worried! Am I really getting better? Is this the calm before the storm? Who knows! It's scary.

Anyways this thread brought to you by covid19 and severe anxiety disorder, pls see my thread re: Emet-Selch for happier times.