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Okay so I& #39;m a little weirded out because last night I was absolutely certain I was going to die and I even seriously considered Where I Wanted To Die (hospital or at home). It felt very inevitable. Today I am still sick. My throat still hurts. But for some reason it isn& #39;t AS bad.
I wasn& #39;t weirded out by that earlier because hey! For some reason my symptoms improve during the day but become atrocious at night. But it& #39;s currently 2am. I usually get "bad" around 8pm. That hasn& #39;t happened today at all.
I& #39;ve been drinking a lot of water and reminding myself to cough, because this stuff is still in my airways and I don& #39;t want it to settle in my lungs. Mostly I& #39;m worried this is the mid-illness "calm" that precedes sudden organ failure and later death.
Honestly all the news surrounding covid is just "hey you& #39;re gonna die," "hey you& #39;re gonna die," "btw you might think you& #39;re fine but so did these other people and oh also they died."
It& #39;s easy to work yourself into an anxiety attack while educating yourself on it, and sadly...
It& #39;s easy to work yourself into an anxiety attack while educating yourself on it, and sadly...
...anxiety attacks can FEEL like you& #39;re actively dying. So it worsens an already terrible problem.
So now that I& #39;m starting to feel better, I& #39;m worried! Am I really getting better? Is this the calm before the storm? Who knows! It& #39;s scary.
So now that I& #39;m starting to feel better, I& #39;m worried! Am I really getting better? Is this the calm before the storm? Who knows! It& #39;s scary.
Anyways this thread brought to you by covid19 and severe anxiety disorder, pls see my thread re: Emet-Selch for happier times.
