Asking a victim in a domestic violent relationship what they’re going to do, what they should do, & wondering why they haven’t done it already - is victim blaming. It puts pressure on someone already under enormous pressure & loudens the voice inside their head.

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Instead, support them. Be there to help cultivate their own capabilities, let them know you are there when they need you - even if they go back: especially if they go back. Let them know they are never alone, that your home is always open: open your home.

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focus on their strengths vs their ‘weakness’ - believe me, staying isn’t weak, staying is surviving. Let them know that when they finally decide to leave, you will be there. You will be there without question, without judgement, without criticisms.

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& while they are there remind them how great they are: build them up. Do this on repeat, until the cycle is broken. I promise, the cycle won’t be broken unless there is someone extending a hand. Extended your hand.

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