shouts to my wife, who sits here while i walk around the house and say things like "YOU ARE THE FEDERAL FUCKING GOVERNMENT HOW ARE YOU SO BAD AT THIS YOU ARE THE FEDERAL FUCKING GOVERNMENT" and she just listens to me rant. she is an absolute chief. i would divorce me.

you have to understand how difficult it must be to be married to me. i would never do it.

i read an article about how california just procured a bunch of masks and i'm like fuck yeah everybody else can eat a bag of shit and then i just feel terrible about that and then my wife tells me to go to bed, because she is sane. so that's how we are doing over here.