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This Master& #39;s Degree is my Lemon Tree.
Question:
How long does it take to grow a lemon tree? — a thread.
Question:
How long does it take to grow a lemon tree? — a thread.
I applied for @websteru& #39;s @Webster_SOC program in June 2017.
Was provisionally accepted nearly immediately. I wanted to scream so bad — I was in CR buying summer heels.
Was provisionally accepted nearly immediately. I wanted to scream so bad — I was in CR buying summer heels.
I started in August 2017 with my initial coursework as an online student. A few weeks prior to the second term ending, I learned I was dealing with anxiety & depression. It got so bad that I was afraid of leaving my house as if the door was threatening my life.
January 2018 I was two weeks into my first term of the second semester. Just a few days after the drop deadline, I was having extreme panic attacks, now I understand how depression & anxiety were playing together. I dropped my courses for the semester.
August 2018 okay, I& #39;m back & I& #39;m not ever leaving you again. I was in a groove, despite abruptly taking my meds & having withdrawal symptoms. I wish I hadn& #39;t listened to the med shaming the was being spoken to me.
November 2018 there was a stressful personal event of a relationship ending just before the holidays. I typed so many papers and discussions through tears. Now I& #39;m already visually challenged, the tears made matters worse, but I received another & #39;A& #39;.
January 2019, baby how you feelin& #39;?! It was not good as hell.
School was back in session. I was doing my coursework on time, turning things in. I thought I bounced back, yet I had been bottling up my stress to put on a happy face at work & church.
School was back in session. I was doing my coursework on time, turning things in. I thought I bounced back, yet I had been bottling up my stress to put on a happy face at work & church.
March 2019, I meet my new psychiatrist & get back on meds after a long thought of stigma & judgement toward myself. Insomnia was taking over. There were deep, dark movements occurring over me in the middle of the night. I& #39;d wake in a sweat & in panic. I would nap daily.
March 2019, I stopped doing assignments, posting on discussion boards and anything else that was academic. I was afraid to be at my house, so I stayed at my grandma& #39;s for a while. Then things got darker than a tunnel on a late-night road trip.
April 2019, I didn& #39;t even care that my birthday was coming up & if you know me personally, I take the day of my birth seriously. It& #39;s a celebration. It& #39;s a monumental moment of reflection.
Wednesday, April 10, 2019, I spent the entire session in therapy crying & expressing my deep, dark fears.
Friday, April 12, 2019, I started IOP (Intensive Outpatient Program) 3x/week 3 hours/day from 9 a.m. - 12 p.m.
Friday, April 12, 2019, I started IOP (Intensive Outpatient Program) 3x/week 3 hours/day from 9 a.m. - 12 p.m.
7 p.m. I was walking into the hospital as I voluntarily checked myself in. My grandma drove me there.
Nearly midnight, I am settled in my room, meds to help me sleep were granted & I couldn& #39;t let my grandma go.
Nearly midnight, I am settled in my room, meds to help me sleep were granted & I couldn& #39;t let my grandma go.
The following week, I was able to go to PHP (Partial Hospitalization Program). I was there 6xs/week for 7 hours. You get to go home every night & return every morning. Eventually, I went back to my house & felt proud. I bought groceries & started eating again during inpatient.
May 2019, I had my days, but the professor that I had class with allowed me to make up everything. I STILL GOT AN & #39;A& #39;. I didn& #39;t have to drop the course or delay beyond the course& #39;s end date.
July, August 2019, I was in summer school. I never forgave myself for taking the semester off in January 2018, so I pushed another course and spent time not working a job to focus on my recovery plan.
September 2019, I am in awe of meeting my last year of graduate school. Grinding, working hard, inspired, motivated to work.
December 2019, I wasn& #39;t a Grinch during Christmastime. I closed out the term with another & #39;A& #39;. My friends are never shocked.
December 2019, I wasn& #39;t a Grinch during Christmastime. I closed out the term with another & #39;A& #39;. My friends are never shocked.
January 2020, this is my year. No, really, it& #39;s mine. I& #39;ll walk across the stage in STL this May, wow I& #39;m scared and excited.
March 2020, a global pandemic occurred & that was the beginning of being home instead of work.
Eventually, we were all forced to be home.
March 2020, a global pandemic occurred & that was the beginning of being home instead of work.
Eventually, we were all forced to be home.
March 2020, wow, this is a Deja Vu & an odd manifestation. I used to always want to be able to have money, stay home & work solely on school, but while getting paid.
Well, I was home & sometimes I& #39;d work from the car at the Lakefront.
Well, I was home & sometimes I& #39;d work from the car at the Lakefront.
April 2020, thing quarantine is different for me than it is for you. One year ago to this Wednesday, I was in my own mental health crisis as I approached my birthday. Friday, April 10, 2020, I will gracefully & gratefully walk into 28.
I& #39;ve been having a lot of reflective moments & flashbacks. I fear a mental health relapse daily. I am reminded of the fact that I am here & well now. The power of OCD (Obsessive Compulsive Disorder) is very real.
April 2020, I am writing my thesis outline and excited to work on the abstract & thesis as I get this degree. It& #39;s not the way I thought it would be — having a ceremony, celebrating, walking the stage. I am forever grateful for my power & impact.
I am still standing.
I am still standing.
May 2020.
Answer: It takes about three years to grow a lemon tree.
Emphasis on "when cared for correctly" though.
https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="😭" title="Loudly crying face" aria-label="Emoji: Loudly crying face">
Lord, I see what you& #39;ve done for me & I want that for me.
###
Answer: It takes about three years to grow a lemon tree.
Emphasis on "when cared for correctly" though.
Lord, I see what you& #39;ve done for me & I want that for me.
###
Lord, I see what you& #39;ve done for me & I want that for me.###" title="May 2020.Answer: It takes about three years to grow a lemon tree.Emphasis on "when cared for correctly" though. https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="😭" title="Loudly crying face" aria-label="Emoji: Loudly crying face">Lord, I see what you& #39;ve done for me & I want that for me.###" class="img-responsive" style="max-width:100%;"/>
