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Over the last 6 weeks, I’ve been misgendered more than in the 1.5 years since I asked people to change the way that they describe me or address me. I& #39;ve been told that it isn& #39;t important, people will forget, it& #39;s too hard, or that this particular & #39;battle& #39; is not for now. (cont.)
It& #39;s a reminder that it& #39;s a polite accommodation that some folks have only a small investment in. I am familiar with it, because it& #39;s happened in other parts of my life, but I doubt very much that those doing it realise the impact of their priorities or the pain it can cause.
It& #39;s interesting, too, because I& #39;ve only had one person actually indicate something that I thought many would think when I first came out, that this was not really very important and was just about naming and that it didn& #39;t matter to them.
I haven& #39;t observed it for others, and I hate to speak for other people, so I won& #39;t do that... but I can say for me that it has been devastating and has made me realise that - as with race/culture - people from outside of groups can often fail to understand nuances and impact.
Of course it buys into the deep-seated fear that I have (and that some others have talked about) that the group misgendering have never really understood or seen me differently, no matter the change I feel or the insistence I attempt to impose. It& #39;s a truly awful feeling.
I can only speak for my own experience, but it& #39;s like that sinking, heated feeling around race/ethnicity... when someone says something racist or stereotyped. For me, it& #39;s overwhelmingly frustrating and sad, and even though my work is on this, I feel a bit locked up about it.
