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If you gone fuck wit somebody IMMEDIATELY after you and your ex broke up take it from me...make sure they can fight...I got a thread for y’all bout this one time I damn near got this girl assassinated.
So I had this ex who was BOUTDATLIFE...say it wit me y’all “BOUT DAT LIFE” meaning she was ratchet hood hell hoodlum if we must. Either way I loved this bitch so the toxicity and erthing was worth it.
Time flies by, damn near every TUESDAY we done fuss fought and fucked 3 times a day. I woke up one day and left her house like “I’m goin to work”. Somebody from my job called her and told her I called out so she hmu IRRATE as fuck & called me a cheater, allat shit.
WHOLE TIME I WAS AT HOME IN MY BED BINGE WATCHIN THE HAVE AND HAVE NOTS....even while she on my phone spazzing on my ass....So she breaks up wit me, packs my shit and I come get it and I go back home. Mind you she ignored me for 2 days after that...this is where I fucked up at
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So one day I’m at work (BIGGEST MISTAKE) and it’s this mixed girl, BLASIAN bitch...she tells a mutual friend that I can “Get it”.... #ROGERDAT..I get the choppin it up wit our mutual friend like “Yea, I just wanna pull the bitch hair a few times” she plants the bug, GIVES ME HER #
So me & this bitch get to choppin it up...I told her I just got outta a relationship so Ine lookin for nun serious, she agrees to just fuck. I felt so lucky and understood y’all. We chilled and one day it just happened.
Fast forward, we chillin one day in my house and my phone is ringin off the hook yerd me! I look and it’s my ex...52 missed calls 10 no caller I’d calls...I instantly try to put on a heartless voice “What boe” I said and yells back “UNLOCK THE FUCKIN DOOR!!” Heart felt ERTHING!
I hung that phone up so fast...then the knocks started comin in heavier and louder...I knew I was gone have to let this bitch in cause my neighbors were white, they ain’t play that hood shit so I’m in the kitchen tryna strategize how ima handle this shit like..
As I’m planning our funeral, this bitch come out my room in her bra and panties talmbout “You ordered sumn? Why they knocking so hard!” Whole time I’m like “BITCH THAT AINT NO PIZZA, THATS A ANGRY BLACK WOMAN WIT HARD HANDS READY TO BEAT YO ASS AND KILL ME”
So my ex knocks one more time....THIS BITCH IN MY HOUSE GONE SAY “DAMN OKAY WE HEAR YOU” I’m like Bitch why tf would you yell that https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="😭" title="Loudly crying face" aria-label="Emoji: Loudly crying face">https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="😭" title="Loudly crying face" aria-label="Emoji: Loudly crying face">https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="😭" title="Loudly crying face" aria-label="Emoji: Loudly crying face">
My ex yells “KAMILAH AYANNA NIARA TF RAINES I KNOW THAT AINT NO BITCH VOICEhttps://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="‼️" title="Double exclamation mark" aria-label="Emoji: Double exclamation mark">https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="‼️" title="Double exclamation mark" aria-label="Emoji: Double exclamation mark">”....I turned to the bitch and said “I hope yo ass can fight or fly cause she gone mollywop yo ass if you don’t jump off my balcony!” Oh I lived on the 3rd floor btwhttps://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="😂" title="Face with tears of joy" aria-label="Emoji: Face with tears of joy">https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="😂" title="Face with tears of joy" aria-label="Emoji: Face with tears of joy"> she looked at me like
Before either one of us could say anything my door flies open....here comes my ex
She had on flip flops y’all I’m still puzzled to this day on how her foot ain’t broke or fucked up
My ex ran straight to this bitch and I did some WWE shit y’all I’m talmbout DDT or whatever you call that shit she did it to her dawg that poor girl had NEVER BEEN IN A FIGHT BEFORE I CAN TELL CAUSE SHE HAD TEARS IN HER EYES AS MY EX RAN TO HER
So I’m tryna pull my ex off the girl and both of their titties fell out....no cap I stood there just watchin them titties swing left and right and up and down in my head I was sayin “This shit is like a movie” it was slow motion and all
Finally I snap back in reality after a titty slapped my face and I noticed lil mama hair was on my floor. I snatch my ex up like “Wtf is wrong wit you it ain’t her fault!”.......lawd why I do thathttps://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="🤦🏾♀️" title="Woman facepalming (medium dark skin tone)" aria-label="Emoji: Woman facepalming (medium dark skin tone)"> “YOU DEFENDING THIS BITCHhttps://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="‼️" title="Double exclamation mark" aria-label="Emoji: Double exclamation mark">” she starts tryin to fight me
So I grab my ex and drag her to my room and shut the door. I said “You can’t fuckin beat ppl ass like that all the time what if this bitch press charges I’m on probation boe!” She calmly sits down and says “Do you love that bitch?” I’m like “no” she hands my her gun..”Shoot her”
I’m like “Aye hell naw tf you tryna get me locked up over some pussy” she gets up snatches the gun and kicks me in my knee so I fall, as she walks down the hallway I hear her cock it back maneeee I grew super strength got my ass up and ran after her
I did the unthinkable and tackled that bitch like she was finna get a touchdown that could end my perfectly good 4 year NFL Career
I ended up knockin the wind outta her so she was sleeppppp. I’m lookin round for the other bitch all I see is her hair on the floor in a trail leading out to the balcony...so my worried ass goes to look
Y’all.....this bitch was halfway off the balcony ready to end it all as long as she ain’t have to get beat up again she looked JUST LIKE THIS
I’m like “Aye she go out the door man she out she not gone hurt you but hurry up” she like “Fuck that I want my clothes” I grabbed this bitch like “SHE WILL WAKE TF BACK UP ITS BEST IF YO ASS AINT HERE YOU GONE BE DEAD IF THAT HAPPENS FUCK BALD HEADED!”
She runs outta the door and I never hear from her again.....UNTIL THE NEXT DAMN TIME WE HAD TO WORK TOGETHER...might I mention I was her bosshttps://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="🤦🏾♀️" title="Woman facepalming (medium dark skin tone)" aria-label="Emoji: Woman facepalming (medium dark skin tone)"> Yea I know sumn ass Milly
So I go clock in, and she’s standing over by the freezer yelling and crying at me about how I ain’t shit and she was in love wit me......then she throws a banana peel at me, where it came from IDK,...my manager is holding back thru all of this like
They carry her out and then my boss calls me in the office. She looks at me and says “Kam, is it that hard to keep your dick in your pants even if you’re not wearing it”...I’m thinkin we all good shit we laughin about the situation and all
She stops laughin and says “IMA GONNA HAVE TO PLACE YOU ON AN UNPAID SUSPENSION UNTIL WE FIGURE A SOLUTION TO THIS BUTTFUCK OF A MESS YOU CREATED!”......two days later they fired me https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="😂" title="Face with tears of joy" aria-label="Emoji: Face with tears of joy">https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="😂" title="Face with tears of joy" aria-label="Emoji: Face with tears of joy">https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="😂" title="Face with tears of joy" aria-label="Emoji: Face with tears of joy">https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="😂" title="Face with tears of joy" aria-label="Emoji: Face with tears of joy">
The end. Moral to the story: make sure any bitch you decide to fuck w after your ex can fight https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="😂" title="Face with tears of joy" aria-label="Emoji: Face with tears of joy">https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="😂" title="Face with tears of joy" aria-label="Emoji: Face with tears of joy">https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="😂" title="Face with tears of joy" aria-label="Emoji: Face with tears of joy">https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="😂" title="Face with tears of joy" aria-label="Emoji: Face with tears of joy">https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="😂" title="Face with tears of joy" aria-label="Emoji: Face with tears of joy">https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="😂" title="Face with tears of joy" aria-label="Emoji: Face with tears of joy">https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="😂" title="Face with tears of joy" aria-label="Emoji: Face with tears of joy">
