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paul rudd is the most uninteresting useless person to ever be born
Never before has there been a man so extraordinarily ordinary, so unbelievably useless, so simple and uninteresting, as Paul Rudd. Do you know who Paul Rudd is? You do.
Never before has there been a man so extraordinarily ordinary, so unbelievably useless, so simple and uninteresting, as Paul Rudd. Do you know who Paul Rudd is? You do.
He's Ant-Man. Maybe you didn't know him by name. You've seen him in everything though. He's the most basic white guy in Hollywood. He's the main character's friend in everything. He's endearing, but not TOO endearing.
It's just... Paul Rudd is no one's favorite actor or celebrity. He's just... Paul Rudd. Never do you see a trailer for a movie and go "WOW PAUL RUDD IS IN THIS TOO?". No. You go "oh, ok". You're not disappointed, but you're not thrilled either.
I can't think of anyone as Paul Rudd as Paul Rudd.
He's just so unbelievably uninteresting that I can't stop thinking about it. He's achieved the perfect level of 'fame' where if you saw him on the street you'd go:
He's just so unbelievably uninteresting that I can't stop thinking about it. He's achieved the perfect level of 'fame' where if you saw him on the street you'd go:
"is that that white guy from the movie we saw last night?" or whatever, but you wouldn't care enough to take a picture with him to post online. No paparazzi comes to him. He probably lives in a moderately nice home, where he pays the bills and goes out to eat every so often.
He probably has a decent retirement fund lined up for when he decides to stop being a useless bland B-list actor in every other average movie that gets pumped out every year. I bet if you knew him in person he'd just be the most painfully plain, vanilla guy ever.
You'd ask him for help moving out of your apartment, and he'd come, right on time, not too early or too late. He'd probably crack a joke about coming at exactly 10am, like you asked.
You'd do a pity chuckle, and would go upstairs to the second floor to start taking your old tv downstairs. You asked him for help, after all. He'd say something useless that provides nothing to the situation like "geez, this is pretty heavy!" or whatever,
and you'd absent-mindedly go "mhmm" in agreement. After he helped you out with all your stuff you'd thank him and he'd say "no problem-o!" or something to sound quirky or even more remotely interesting than he is.
Then he'd drive away in his 2016 Prius to his home in some alright neighborhood with a white picket fence and a trimmed lawn that he mows himself every Sunday afternoon.
Paul Rudd is good looking, but not TOO good looking. He doesn't have any superfans that want to marry him swarming him 24/7. He's just barely good looking enough to be shown in a movie trailer. This is what I mean by unbelievably unexceptional.
This man goes throughout his day living out the most bland, boring existence anyone has ever lived. Paul Rudd probably doesn't win awards. He'll get nominated, though.
If he was in some recent movie people heard about and went "oh, ok" and only watched because they were bored one weekend. He'll come to the awards show and not win, but he'll clap a little too much for the winner to show that he's happy for them.
Afterwards he'll probably pump out a tweet like "just sat at the same table as Robert DeNiro, STARSTRUCK" or something. It'd get like 2 thousand likes and would probably get retweeted by his brother and then everyone would forget it happened.
Just like everyone will forget Paul Rudd happened.
Fuck Paul Rudd.
