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One thing I think about sometimes is that I "stopped" being shy when I was about 9. I made a deal with my parents that, if I spoke more in class and made a few new friends, I could stop going to these "building your child& #39;s social skills" classes they& #39;d put me in (which I hated).
And I don& #39;t begrudge them for this at all, because it turned out to be a great deal -- my life got loads better. I learned a lot about how to make friends that year! But this happened because I forced myself to do a lot of things I was uncomfortable doing.
I forced myself to pretend the shyness away, but the shy feelings did not actually GO away. The shyness ceased to be a problem in many people& #39;s eyes, because they couldn& #39;t see it (well, most of the time. Sometimes it was/is still evident.)
I think this is partly why I learned to mask shy/awkward feelings with taking on the comedienne role in a friend group setting. Because the shyness was still there! ignoring it did not mean it was gone! but I& #39;d learned not talking wasn& #39;t an option, so this was an alternative.
I think about this because I& #39;m still quite shy as an adult (not to the extent that I was before -- maybe pretending things away does work to an extent, or maybe it& #39;s just growing up) -- but nobody knows unless I tell them, or unless very specific situations come up.
It& #39;s just interesting? Because the way I was perceived, personality-wise, did a total flip once I& #39;d learned to shove away the shyness. Even though the inside of my head was still the same. At the time, I felt like I was getting credit for changing when I hadn& #39;t, really.
And I& #39;ve been thinking about it now, all these years later, because there are still certain things that I do and feel that stem from the same place as my wee-child shyness, and I think I& #39;ve just carried on shoving that away. Like, into the garbage it goes!
But I think maybe it& #39;s better to respect it, when I recognize it? Say... okay, wow, that& #39;s me being shy. And not instantly condemn it or hide it. Because it is okay to be shy sometimes, as long as it doesn& #39;t dictate your life. There& #39;s good and bad to it, like everything.
(This thread has been brought to you by Too Much Introspection Under Quarantine and Not Getting To Go Outside Enough. But I do mean it. Always worth reminding myself that I can& #39;t actually do anything with my emotions unless I stop and listen to them first.)
