In honor of Sexual Assault Awareness Month, I'm going to talk about something that has bothered me for many, many years. This will be an adult post so I say unironically: READER DISCRETION IS ADVISED and TRIGGER WARNING:

Did you know that it isn't legally considered rape if a woman has sexual intercourse with a man without his consent?

According to legal definitions penetration of the victim is required and since (save a few instances) women don't penetrate men when performing sexual acts on them

So women are almost incapable of legally raping a man. ( https://ucr.fbi.gov/ …/crime-in-the-u.s.-20…/topic-pages/rape) But, you may say, how can this still be with the expanded definition after recent pushes against rape?

Well, we can thank celebrated feminist and rape scholar Mary P. Koss (one of the women behind the 1 in 4 college women statistic). Because of her headlining paper, Ms. Koss has gained a great deal of influence with government agencies such as the CDC, for whom she is a consultant

According to Ms. Koss: "It is inappropriate to consider as a rape victim a man who engages in unwanted sexual intercourse with a woman." (Detecting the Scope of Rape: A Review of Prevalence Research Methods) What would she consider such an event?

"What would I call it? I would call it 'unwanted contact'." ( https://soundcloud.com/889-wers/male-rape) And notice the wording of that first quote. "A man who engages..." this implies he actively participated in the event, if he wasn't the initiator.

And this is the kind of mindset that pervades the culture at large. How often to headlines about female teachers who molest their male students refer to it with language like "Teacher has sex with student"?

Well, you may say, it's not that big of a deal, men are hardly ever a victim of rape, like women are, and if they are it's mostly by other men. And that's simply not true.

When asked about experiences in the last 12 months, men reported being “made to penetrate”—either by physical force or due to intoxication—at virtually the same rates as women reported rape (both 1.1 percent in 2010, and 1.7 and 1.6 respectively in 2011) ( https://time.com/3393442/cdc-rape-numbers/)

I have not been a victim of rape, blessedly, but I know men who have. If you have been a victim of rape, know that it's not your fault. You weren't "asking for it" because of how you dress or because "men always want sex".

There is no shame in asking for help whether from friends (including me), family, or professionals. And PLEASE consider reporting to the authorities. Even if it doesn't go to trial it creates a police file and will help with future cases.

A thread for @RuleonC; recent tweets of yours I found prompted this post. Thanks for being an advocate.