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My all-consuming craving for post-Redemption Sean/Daniel will be the death of me.
There’s a certain flavor to idea of Daniel slowly trying to break down the walls Sean built up around himself in prison.
Daniel insists that Sean stays with him for a while after his release. He even cleared out a room in his apartment just for Sean. He wasn’t going to let his brother sleep on a couch after all those years in prison. He deserved a real space of his own.
There’s a tension between them that was never there before. Or perhaps it was always there, but they ignored it because it was too much, too blinding. But the push and pull between them is impossible to ignore now.
Daniel pushes Sean’s boundaries a little bit more every time despite himself until they both have no choice but to skitter away. And it happens again, and again, and again.
One night, Daniel wakes up to Sean screaming in the throes of a nightmare. Sean wakes up to Daniel holding him. They don’t talk about it in the morning.
Daniel doesn’t want to make Sean uncomfortable. He would never want Sean to be uncomfortable. But he wants to take care of Sean now more than anything, in any way he would let him, just like he used to take of care Daniel.
He thinks he’s always loved Sean like this. He was able to repress it before, but Sean being back in his life again makes it unbearable. He wants *all* of Sean. He *needs* him.
And in turn, Sean’s tempted to share everything that he is with Daniel, things that he would’ve never dared to share with him even all those years ago.
Because little did Daniel know his feelings are reciprocated.
Daniel’s still the only one Sean can trust. Even 15 years later, no one gets him like Daniel does. Not even Lyla.
Sean leaves because it’s all too much, embarking on a cross-country road trip to put as much distance as possible between himself and Daniel. Not because he doesn’t love him, but because he loves him too much.
If he doesn’t leave Daniel now, he knows he never will. And Daniel deserves a life that doesn’t revolve around his ex-con big brother. He has nothing left to give to Daniel. He feels like a deadweight that’s only dragging Daniel down.
He sees how Daniel frowns when he thinks he’s looking away. He thought that Daniel would be relieved to hear that he was leaving, but Daniel only looks even more broken inside when he finally tells him.
They don’t talk for several days, until Daniel suggests that they revisit Trout Spring Trail again before Sean goes on his own journey. Alone. For old times’ sake.
