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after four years,,, i’m FINALLY posting a thread about my experience with @/callmekarizma
ignore the tweets they aren’t relevant but as u can see i had my dn @ and icon dedicated to him. i was literally one of his biggest stans on here incase any of u think this is me casually liking him. also at this time i was 13
i started listening him in 2016, but never really interacted until january of 2017. his fanbase was relatively small so he interacted with a few of my tweets and stuff yknow. eventually we dmed and spoke and he ended up talking me off the ledge a few times after talking 4 awhile+
i literally could only find this ss where i had deleted my side of the conversation so it doesn’t serve as much but we were talking about if he was going live i think and after the “:))” i had been sad and stuff but i ended up deleting it+
i bought tickets to one of his shows and met him after. at this point i hadn’t been on stan twitter for more than two months so even though we had spoken and interacted he didn’t recognize me. it was a normal interaction tbh just a “hi” and a picture+
we dmed more often after this and this gap is when he talked me down from panic attacks and suicide like i mentioned earlier. it left me pretty attached to him which seems dumb saying it now.+
we also snapchatted sometimes but pretty much just shit like this idk if that’s relevant i’m trying to add as much as possible. we were pretty close and interacted a lot and that’s the point i’m trying to get across because he was kinda crossing the fan/friend line.+
i was in a few gcs w him 2 and he sent pretty weird sexual things abt people in them. i remember someone’s 18th birthday and he was being really gross but i thought it was funny so i didn’t care. also he sent me a cd and a note which he did to a couple other people as well+
i didn’t have room to add it but i cant remember any specific phrases or stuff th at he said, just looking back i can give u the jist and know it wasn’t normal.+
i bought another ticket to a show (i turned 14 about a week before this) and i got vip so we got in earlier. he recognized me from twitter and was like “yo i’m glad to see u here i’m happy you came ive missed you since last time” or whatever. i met him after the show again too.+
at the point of that show, some people had started coming forward, but not fully. it was normally just a couple dms and a lot of people passed it off as easily faked.+
he announced that he was touring w mod son so i bought tickets. the show was only about two and a half months after the previous one, but in that time frame. shit went down on all of stan twitter. everyone was coming forward about what he’d done and said to them.+
i think i knew that *something* was going on, but i really REALLY didn’t want any of it to be true so i just ignored everyone. karizma would dm me alone and also gcs that i was in and try to brainwash us into thinking he was the victim.+
he would send me and other people screenshots of threads and just fucking bully the people who had made them. he said they were “jealous of his success” or “mad at him” or that they were an ex or an ex friend who wanted to get back at him. other times he’d say it was a “hater”+
i was dumb and naive and wanted to badly for everything to be fake so i believed him and his dumbass explanations for everything. i just looked away from everything. (side note: it’s taken me so long to make this thread because of what he did to others that did the same thing)+
and because i believed him, i bought tickets to another one of his shows. at this point part of me knew it wasn’t right to go and so i ended up keeping this one entirely off of my twitter (which is not like me at all, but i passed it off as not wanting to get “attacked”)+
i was vip and by now he obviously knew who i was. i told him my name and he was like “dude you know that i know you! i’ve missed you!” i was overwhelmed during m+g so he ended up like “shhhing” me and rubbing circles in my back which was kinda weird but maybe that’s just me+
name on the poster is scribbled out it just says ieuan.+
even though he was never sexual to me, he did dm weird things like i said before. i know that my experience was nothing compared to other people’s and that the thread has been pretty underwhelming, but i still ended up with some weird trauma from it+
he talked to me and helped me through some hard shit. he ended up like a cousin to me. but he was in a position of power. he knew i (and so many other people) idolized him and would listen to him. i was young. i was barely a teenager. and he knew he could get me to listen to him+
instead of the people who were against him. and i did. and i struggled with this until early 2019. because even though i knew he was a fucked up person, i still felt tied to him, and i felt bad for him, and i still didn’t know if i should’ve believed anyone else but him.+
it’s been over three years since we first spoke, and over a year since i knew i couldn’t stan him anymore, but i’ve still only spoken to a handful of people about any of this. and that’s because i’m still stuck with him in a part of my brain.+
i have to live with the fact that he isn’t a good person while part of me still misses him. it’s gross and awful and i know i don’t actually miss him but he did such a good job at playing the victim that i STILL wonder if he’s at fault. and i hate him so much.+
and today he’s posting gross sexual shit on tiktok for his young viewers who don’t know about his past to see. and i know he’s doing the same thing to some of them that he did to me. and i hate it. he has 30 rape allegations. 30. he’s admitted to “taking advantage of people” too+
that’s pretty much it. posting this scares me because i used to read threads like these about him and ignore them. i hope at least one person reads this and LISTENS. i wish i was able to when it mattered most.
