I heard a thing on the radio today where the experts were talking abt how this generation across the globe will be dealing with some pretty major trauma and ptsd around COVID.

i know that for personal reasons, i'm already struggling with trauma, and i know that i already am not the same person i was before this crisis took place, and i am currently a very lucky person where i (thank god) haven't lost anybody at this point.

there will be the people who lose loved ones. who lose multiple community members. and as a survivor of medical trauma that i know pointed out--there will be the trauma of those that survive.

this person was talking particularly about how an entire generation of people will be dealing with the trauma of being put on ventilators, something i had no idea was traumatic. thru conversations with this person, i'm rethinking my own end of life decisions.

but more so, i'm seeing this person struggling with the traumatic experience of being on a ventilator as every news outlet under the sun talks about ventilators. and the govt fucks around with people's ability to access them.

i read a conversation abt how end of life drugs are already hard to access and we're not having any conversations abt what to do if they become impossible.

and this conversation abt how essential those end of life drugs are to making the dying person's end of life easier as well as the family that is there with them--it's hard enough to witness loved ones dying. https://twitter.com/CassieY4/status/1246588134545960960

it's all absolutely terrifying. and i have no specific trauma or ptsd that i have to deal with every single time i listen to the news or hear a community conversation abt COVID.

i say all this for many reasons. it is really fucking scary right now. and getting #onhere and seeing daily updates where the president acts like a true piece of shit--i can hardly even stomach it.

it's not just 'watching your loved one die.' it's the multitude of horrific, horrible, traumatic vile ways that so many people are having to reckon with their loved ones dying. and it's the horrific horrible things that loved ones that live are now forced to live with.

i have seen in my fundie timeline that a MAGA woman who was making fun of, writing hostile screeds about, etc COVID recently died of COVID. her family has their own special hell they now have to live with. i don't glory or feel vindicated by her death at all.

i feel endless compassion for a family that was lied to and believed it. i was lied to and only by the grace of god, did i not believe it. god knows what lies i DID or DO believe that i will be smacked around for later.

which leads me to. previous generations dealt with global trauma by hiding it. by refusing to deal with. by being 'stoic' and moving on. by drinking, beating their families. by being the greatest generation.

if we do anything at all bcz of this COVID bullshit. we MUST be the generation that refuses to hide. that refuses to beat, drink, freeze ourselves into submission or quiet ever again.

we can not expect or demand that traumatized people just move on. or deal with individually with their therapy bootstraps. and those of us who are not dealing with covid trauma must refuse to move on without our people.

what must our new world look like in order to center and heal or at least help those who have been traumatized by COVID?