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birdsite not shutting up about annoying matters such as "magic", "spirituality", and "zen" kept said matters in the back of my head,
a few weeks ago, the entire thing begun to make some sense in terms i could understand,
then yesterday this popped up https://twitter.com/sonyasupposedly/status/1247247995197722624
a few weeks ago, the entire thing begun to make some sense in terms i could understand,
then yesterday this popped up https://twitter.com/sonyasupposedly/status/1247247995197722624
it was kinda creepy because it seemed to spell out more or less the terms in which it made sense
i don't consciously engage with these things, though. they get a virulent reaction, total psychological toxic shock syndrome fever state kind of thing
i don't consciously engage with these things, though. they get a virulent reaction, total psychological toxic shock syndrome fever state kind of thing
over time, even though i could barely read the words - my eyes are always rolling so much - i started to notice a few parallels
worse still, the parallels i began to notice were with things that //i have been doing for years//
some of them, for way over a decade
worse still, the parallels i began to notice were with things that //i have been doing for years//
some of them, for way over a decade
(re: decades: like this one in particular i felt immensely r*tarded for spelling out bc of how obvious it seems) https://twitter.com/erin_nerung/status/1229512633906343936?s=20
back to the OP, i begun to notice last november that "desiring something really hard even though it is impossible/i can't think of any ways to achieve it" kept turning my interest towards... the exact kinds of things that might help me achieve it
which is actually EXTREMELY FUCKING WILD considering the fact that the main difficulty in my autistic navigation of the world is precisely "wanting things but not having the slightest clue on how to get there from here"
like "wanting a job but not having any idea how to get a job" (doesn't occur to me 'send out resume'), or "wanting friends but not knowing how" (doesn't occur to me 'talk to people often and consistently')
the steps are 100% opaque
the steps are 100% opaque
and suddenly
they appear
out of fucking thin air
i assume that's because my desire keeps making me subconsciously more interested in things which might take me there (feeds back, processes, outputs refined interest for what's more likely to take there, repeat, repeat)
they appear
out of fucking thin air
i assume that's because my desire keeps making me subconsciously more interested in things which might take me there (feeds back, processes, outputs refined interest for what's more likely to take there, repeat, repeat)
i am blown away
