I’ve never done any gardening before and not seen any appeal in it, thinking it a boring and unnecessary task which would waste time. Today, I planted some veg seeds out for my mum in pots and in her tiny garden, and it was just the loveliest activity to do.

Getting my hands dirty, deep in soil, pushing seeds into holes I created, and hoping that something new will develop from them - well, if there was a life-affirming thing for me to do in this pandemic hell, I’ve found it. It was joyous and calming and now I want to do loads more.

I understand gardening now. A real connection to nature (and I don’t give a shit how corny that sounds), something I’d poo-pooed my whole life. A small thing which temporarily made the panic in my head stop and forced me to slow down and listen to the birds, and enjoy the moment.

Anyway, who knows what - if anything - grows from the seeds I’ve planted, but the joy I discovered today has made the experience wholly worthwhile, no matter what the outcome. And maybe more dirty hands are what’s needed - what I need for my mental health - in the months to come.

My first ever shoots! Teeny lettuce ones, so exciting!

Beyond excited that I now have multiple shoots of lettuce, tomato, basil, cress, radish, and nasturtium growing. Patiently waiting to see if the beans and coriander will produce anything, but very happy with current lot: let’s hope these little babies survive (my amateur hands)…

GREEN BEANS! (My first ever.)

Lettuce and tomatoes doing well, but look at my green beans! Have learned how to prick-out (ahem) and re-pot today.

Spent 5 hours yesterday and 4 hours today carefully pricking out and repotting more tomatoes, French beans, basil and lettuce, and then planted some parsley, runner beans and petunias, which I hope will all germinate… It's been very tiring/slow, but delightfully calming.

Inordinately proud of these French beans. No idea if they'll produce anything I can eat, but the fact I've not killed the plants (yet) and they've grown this big amazes me.

The highlight of today was receiving a shipment of seeds I ordered a month ago, and squealing with excitement at the thought of planting out some French marigolds, kale, rocket, cucumber and courgettes; I already have scores of things germinating... Who have I become?!

Never knew how satisfying it would be to handwrite dozens of tiny labels.

Hardening off my beautiful bean babies.

Instead of my usual pandemic panic dreams which I've been constantly tormented by, last night I hazily dreamt of courgettes, lettuce and peas and woke this morning happily thinking about how I need to repot the runner beans today. Gardening has apparently changed my actual brain.

Runner beans, just 11 days after sowing! (French beans in background.) And two sowings of radish, 25 and 11 days' growth, with a handful of nasturtiums (and marigolds germinating alongside) in the foreground. Hopefully a few of these will be edible soon...

Before (in the lounge)...

After (in the garden). Yes, I did buy a mini-greenhouse, and no, I have no idea who I am anymore.

Hurry up and finish growing, radishes, I want to eat you NOW.

Slight overkill? But slugs and snails can piss right off out of my patch.

Have had a dreadful mental health day today, felt like giving up on everything, but harvesting these beauties - the first things I have ever grown myself, from seed - has lifted the darkness for a moment and made me immensely proud: I grew this food! And they're delicious!

From picking (and eating) my self-grown radishes, to making cream of radish leaf soup: no food wastage on my watch, oh no.

Today's harvest! (And a Daisy cat amongst the daisies.)

Just received a same-day home delivery of compost (thank you @Argos_Online!) and it's made me so happy: dozens of my seedlings are pot-bound, and not been able to source a delivery anywhere till now. Tomorrow's gonna be a busy day of repotting tomatoes, beans, lettuce, peas...

Made the first-time-gardener error of thinking that none of my sown seeds would germinate and that if any of them did, I would kill every single seedling, so have now ended up with 27 tomato plants and only space for about 3. Ditto beans of which I now have 20+. Oops.

Surely I can plant out my beans now? My seedlings are well over two feet tall and full of flowers, I'm desperate to get them out of their pots... Is it still too risky, do I really need to wait till the end of May/start of June to be safe?

I planted out my runner beans! First time in my entire life to plant anything out, so I hope I've not screwed it up too much...

I have a new-found respect for gardeners after spending almost two hours weeding, digging, hoeing, raking and hand-picking stones out of this bed: it's absolutely knackering work. Very rewarding though: I now have a calm mind alongside the well-deserved sweat.

Dwarf beans are IN. Finally! Been nursing these babies from seed for six weeks and waiting for the day when they'd be ready to face the world on their own; I hope they're going to be okay... Bloody hell, I'm shattered now.

BEANS! My plants have actual beans growing on them! I can't believe it, am so so happy.

Planted out my lettuces! God, so nervous - I hope they make it.

I know it's just basil, but given I'd never in my life grown anything from seed until seven weeks ago, I'm really chuffed with these plants. Ate some for tricolore salad last night, was delicious.