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:/ feel sad I can’t be a human being the way I want to be
If you can live your life without ever fearing ur relatives will come and threaten/k*ll u, you are soooo blessed
I’m not even talking about anything haram, just normal things which should be okay
50% of my ptsd was caused by stuff related to this and like it really cursed my entire existence. Idk if I’ll ever be completely safe/free from that stressor (fear of loss of autonomy+agency/h*n*rkilling) in the back of my mind.
The worst thing is not even the ones that would k*ll you, it’s the ones that would watch and let it happen.
I would do anything to just not have this trauma and fear. It hurts me and I haven’t been able to understand God’s role in it. Ya Allah, why do your creation think it’s okay to do that in your name? Where is the relief for the vulnerable ones?
a lot of girls will ask me questions wanting Islamic justification for something which is completely halal because their family is nuts and they think they will soothe them. They are willing to threaten u over a basic thing, a fatwa won’t change violent people and it hurts my 
What kills me is people with religion is authority don’t come down on this shit. They don’t condemn it. They are so passive. When I spoke abt it in school around all these Imams and cried my eyes out, they were dazed and just said ‘well that’s not true Islam’ and nothing else.
