Five years ago today I was down in Mobile, AL for an interview with the University of South Alabama Earth Sciences Department. Right about now I was running through ATL airport flop sweating in a suit that was 6 sizes too big desperately trying to make my connection to MOB.

In those three days (Apr 7 - 9) I would:
--Lose my voice multiple times
--Get SLAMMED with allergies leaving me to be a mass of tissues and snot
--Get so nervous I would forget the name of the school I was currently working for
--Somehow land this dream of a job

Let me tell you something about those allergies:

In Michigan we were still coming out of winter. There was virtually no pollen to worry about. I came down to Mobile and within 15 minutes my senses were under assault. I could barely breathe for ~50% of my meetings/lectures

Funny thing is, when I'm nervous irl I talk wayyyyy too much which isn't good for interviews. But I was so worried about opening my mouth and then sneezing or blowing snot all over the people who would hopefully soon be my colleagues that I mostly sat and listened.

A colleague later told me that they thought I was a little too uptight because as we drove around town for a tour I sat there quietly the whole time.

If you have ever met IRL, I am definitely not even a little uptight. I was just trying to not blow snot all over their dashboard.

Also, about that oversized suit:

I had lost like 20 pounds in late 2014-early 2015 thanks mostly to stress. Losing weight is usually good! But I had no formal clothes because I was a broke grad student. It was black and heavy AF. And that was a problem because...

I was now in Mobile in early April and it was already in the 80s and the dewpoints were >70. Between that and my allergies, I can only imagine that I looked like I was having a really long and drawn out stroke. I still have that suit... maybe I could wear it for Halloween someday

I don't remember much of the individual interactions I had with anyone. It was all kind of a whirlwind punctuated with a few times where I unwittingly embarrassed myself and I seem to only remember those interactions which are now jokes that still go on in our department.

In my sample lecture I had to talk about coastal processes. I coasted through the lecture but then right at the end I applied it to Mobile and pronounced "Dauphin Island" as "Daw-pheen Island" and the crowd audibly groaned like I got an answer wrong on a game show.

That's a major mistake down here. But even worse, I mistakenly thought one of my interviewers was an Auburn fan because they went there for their degrees. They are actually an Alabama fan and honestly at that point I thought I was done. No point in continuing after that error.

Anyway, after meeting with a bunch of faculty and eventually the Dean of A&S and two dinners, I got a ride back to the airport from a faculty member. They said we had plenty of time, so did I want to stop somewhere? I said Publix. They were confused, but took me there.

Why Publix?

Because when I was an undergrad if bombed an exam, I would get a Publix Ultimate Sub or half a key lime pie, devour the whole thing in one sitting, and nap for 6 hours. I got both and crushed the sandwich in the terminal. I honestly didn't think I got the job.