I have a radical proposal for corporate America in the face of #KungFlu.

Buy out your women.

No, seriously.

If this pandemic has shown us anything meaningful, it's that everyone suffers when both parents work full time. They suffer, the kids suffer, society suffers.

So, let's try something different:

A corporate buyout of your childrearing employees. Make it available to both sexes. Offer a year of salary plus any vacation payout, in exchange for the employee's departure. They can't return for at least ten years.

Don't allow exploitation..

In other words, corporations are going to have to cooperate and either share information on who takes a buyout, or require applicants to disclose if they have.

Why? So that you don't have people taking a massive buyout, just to turn around and spend it on hookers and blow.

Society needs a realignment.

It starts in corporate America, not middle America. It starts with the women making six figures, competing with their husbands to see who makes more.

So give them an incentive to try something different.

Money is a REALLY good incentive here.

We cannot possibly expect the middle class American family to rely on a single income when our wealthiest families - who are more than able to do so - REFUSE TO DO SO out of some bizarre ideological conviction about women in the workplace.

I think the change would be dramatic.

It's scary to think that this is controversial, to the point of alarming people who I'm certain are still letting me live in their heads rent-free.

But, think about it.

What are we GAINING by most American mothers working full time?

More money? So what? That's just inflation!

Thanks to the narrative that women belong in the workplace in as large numbers as men, middle class and low-income women have NO ALTERNATIVE to working full time into retirement age.

Why? Because uppity wealthy women selfishly wanted more. They weren't fighting for real women.

The mad push to pressure as many women as possible into long-term full-time employment hasn't been about helping women who, many decades ago, weren't ALLOWED to work in medicine and technology and science.

It's just been about economic destruction. I don't see it any other way.

When everyone has more money, scarcity doesn't change.

That means the value of your dollar is MUCH lower.

When mom and dad each make $75,000 a year, the average household income doubles.

That means the price of things doubles over time, too.

And things get smaller.

Remember full half gallons of ice cream? I do. Most brands offer a quart and a half now, or 1.75 quarts if you're lucky.

Remember 65 lb. bags of kibble? I do. Now it's 40 lbs.

But the price hasn't changed.

Why is that?

INFLATION.

This isn't fucking complicated.

We wrecked the value of our currency, wrecked the stability of our homes, wrecked the structure of our society, and it was all for a fucking religious ideology.

I don't expect my radical idea to gain any traction. Every corporation in America views this position as suicidal.

See, I don't think women belong in the home because some stupid foreign deity and a litany of legalistic dogma tells me women belong in the home.

I think women belong in the home because their actual talents are put to use in the home, when they have the time to give to others.

Women give. It's what we DO.

I'm a woman. I have no kids. The part of my brain that's supposed to biologically drive me to have kids doesn't exist. Whatever.

But I still want to give to the people I care about. Like, it's weird. I buy and make people things. It fulfills me.

There's so much more I could do if I didn't work full time.

Our communities need people to give. Time, energy, intellect - think about all the volunteerism that's disappeared thanks to women working full time.

Let's say you're really good at sales. You make bank in commission.

That's super, but so what? You make a lot of money. Good for you!

Why not put the power of your persuasion and, dare I say, feminine wiles to use doing something bigger?

Volunteer at a nonprofit. Work a pledge drive. Use your skills to persuade people to give to real causes!

What if you're a really good leader? You're a great manager, but you always have problems in the workplace because men simply don't take well to being led by women. It's not because they're evil bastard bigot sexist assholes, it's just fucking natural.

So why not do MORE?

Volunteer at a local nonprofit for a cause you care about, and put your leadership skills to use helping direct that nonprofit to make it more successful and more impactful in your local community, instead.

Like, it's making me really fucking angry that we've all be LIED TO.

Women are full of emotion and empathy and love and caring for the world around us.

We go into the corporate workplace, which is all about cutthroat competition and ambition and drive, and are shocked when it's hard for us to assimilate.

Women now demand that environment change.

Nobody's stopping to consider that there's a better place in the world for women than in the miserable rat race.

They think men love working long hours with asshole managers.

Nothing could be further from the truth. Men just want to provide for their loved ones.

SO LET THEM.

And encourage and challenge women to abandon the insane ideology that they're just like men, and to instead put their immense talents to use making the world a better place.

You sure as fuck aren't making the world a better place by working in corporate America.