a lot of inner child wounds have been resurfacing because something triggered me and finally unlocked a vault of deeply repressed trauma. in short, the adults around me ... i don't respect any of them. they don't honor children. they don't protect children. they failed.

all i have done all my life is protect myself because the adults supposed to help me either abused me or preyed on me in some kind of way. i don't want to be so closed off but people never earn my trust. i watch how sloppy they are. they don't even trust themselves.

why would i trust you if you can't even govern yourself? give me one good reason. my trust issues are never unjustified. i do trust someone. i trust myself. that's who i'm supposed to trust.

my family is full of addicts, abusers, and abuse apologists. the fucking luck of the draw with these ones.

life is just not fair. i've always known that. but i'm still going to complain. i always suck it up and bypass it. but i'm angry. finally.