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@WoolieWoolz I'm sure you've been sent this a million times already but JUST TO BE SURE:
"sea lioning" is named as such thanks to this comic - http://wondermark.com/1k62/ .
Also, you and I process things very similarly and I 100% get where you're coming from and your frustration!
"sea lioning" is named as such thanks to this comic - http://wondermark.com/1k62/ .
Also, you and I process things very similarly and I 100% get where you're coming from and your frustration!
If you're interested in unsolicited advice, I advise the following:
* "yep, that's my bad."
* PAUSE (length is situational - mild tiff? couple seconds. Actual Severe Argument With Someone? hours->days
* "Do you have a second? It would help me understand what I need to change >
* "yep, that's my bad."
* PAUSE (length is situational - mild tiff? couple seconds. Actual Severe Argument With Someone? hours->days
* "Do you have a second? It would help me understand what I need to change >
> so that it doesn't happen again. If you're open to it, I'd like to describe what was going through my head, and it'd be very helpful if you could help me identify where that breaks down."
obviously, as people get used to this idea, you can start trimming the speech & >
obviously, as people get used to this idea, you can start trimming the speech & >
> shortening the pause, but this does several things:
1) reinforces that you're NOT going back on the "i was wrong" thing
2) gives them context for what you're trying to do
3) gives them the agency to engage or not
4) gives ME (you) the desired outcome of "oh THAT'S what I >
1) reinforces that you're NOT going back on the "i was wrong" thing
2) gives them context for what you're trying to do
3) gives them the agency to engage or not
4) gives ME (you) the desired outcome of "oh THAT'S what I >
> fucked up on!" which can then be corrected for.
Hope this helps! :)
Hope this helps! :)
also, re that last bit in the "woolie" clip about apologies - here's a worthwhile microthread about 'em and how to do 'em proper-like: https://twitter.com/TheRaDR/status/1022564173966913536
