When you're a woman with a doctorate, some think you're arrogrant for breathing even if you grovel, so there's that.

I love my BIPOC, LGBTQ & first gen students, though...

Me: Call me Ebony.

Students: OK, Dr. Thomas!

Me: No, really, Ebony is fine!

Ss: Got it, Dr. Thomas!

My choice is not to insist on the title out of solidarity with my working class family and roots, and I don't include it on my social media biographies.

(I did, however, learn to include it on my email signatures because people will try the entire living bleep out of you.)

I was also Ms. Thomas for a decade, and my former K-12 students know me as that, so it is an honor to hear it... unless, of course, you're trying me, and calling me Ms. Thomas while WM colleagues are Dr. all day every day.

I never forget an intentional slight. *Ever.*

However, I don't stand on ceremony. I'll answer to Ebony, Ms. Thomas, Dr. T, or Dr. Thomas as long as you're not being nasty. Others vary. If folks have an issue with non-MDs using or even insisting on Dr., that's on them.

(The Doctor of Philosophy, or PhD, predates the MD. )

I use Ms. when I travel, because of the "Is there a (medical) doctor on the plane?" issue. In fact, most of the time if I'm not operating in an academic capacity, I use Ms.... like if I'm engaging in personal business, no, they do not have to call me Dr.

Two exceptions, though.

Those two exceptions are if I am buying a home or a car. (I am a never married Black woman with zero inherited wealth, and little leverage in those negotiations. Throwing the PhD card out there helped the interest rate on my current home & vehicle.)

But that's it.