"Perhaps the best Arabic writer alive" writes British critic who doesn't read Arabic about an Arabic writer who gets published in translation before Arabic

"a powerful voice in Arabic poetry" declares American academic about a viral Facebook poet

"The mother of all Arabic feminist literature" declares the editor about a mother who has no children

"The Jane Austen of Arabic literature" - Edward Said about Hanan alShaykh

Jane Austen:

Year 2021

Arabic writer in translation: this book is about the Arab Spring

Syrian writer: this book is about a corpse

Iraq writer: this book is about a corpse that comes together with other corpses

Saudi writer: this novel is about two lovers of different backgrounds who don't get to...

Me: yes they won't get married, the dad will lock her up and she will read Simon de Beauvoir as she weeps in her bedroom

Palestinian writer: this is a multigenerational novel that takes place

Me: from Nakba to Naksa to Oslo, intersected by a massacre, an honor killing, a smuggling attempt, and a siege

Kuwaiti writer: this novel is racist

Me: yeah it is

Egyptian writer: this book is about an individual who gets disillusioned with

Me: with society and politics, suffers sexual frustration, is alcoholic, goes on a quest to score hashish, all while Cairo falls apart

Moroccan writer: this book is about

Me: a Self-loathing North African who makes it to Europe and fucks a dozen Europeans every night

Sudanese writer: this book is about my grandma

Me: yo grandma is dope

Emirati writer: this is about modern Dubai and how

Me: it's full of Indian immigrants whom you really really detest