here is a thread of my mug’s dishwasher-safe depictions of the monarchy

Starts strong, with appropriate military outfit and the look of a man whose spotted an inheritance crisis to jump into

"I don't understand, the bird was never really a talking point back in Normandy"

Nothing infuriated Henry more than being forced by his fifteen-year-old daughter to wait at the door when he picked her up at quarter to midnight.

Stephen's mum only allowed him to play rugby if he wore the scrum cap, despite being a outside-centre.

In 2012, the Jamaican High Commission was forced to apologise after Usain Bolt's celebration sent unwitting threats to the Archbishop of Canterbury.

One trick Richard learnt whilst crusading was standing very still and secretly urinating into his helmet.

"Your two-course set menu offer does not explicitly prevent four patrons sharing two starters and two desserts alongside four mains"

"Apologies Sir, I'll bring your crème brûlées right over"

Some say it was simply a belt worn over a tunic. Some say he was England's only Russian Orthodox monarch.

Edward repeatedly told the security guards at Reading Festival that it was just a poncho, and he had no idea where the drugs came from

"Look love, those tossers over there are sharing a crème brûlée"

Richard curated his Instagram to include Bristol nightclubs and charity shops, and denied ever attending the dinners for Abingdon Old Boys.

"Let's skip the crème brûlée, we've got to be back at stage door by 6."

Kenneth Branagh

Edmund Blackadder

During the years away from the throne, Edward found work training police dogs.

"I'm trying to finish book no. 28 for the summer holiday Reading Maze, please leave me alone"

I saw it in the paper advertised as 'Dr Thicklance's Remediale Backke Un-Huncher'

Rumour whipped round the Welsh valleys that the English girls loved capes, turned out they didn't.

A genuine Holbein/a genuine Holbein miniature

Her parents were glad that after spending a fortune in the Warner Bros. Studios gift shop, she at least got good use out of the Hufflepuff outfit.

Little known fact - the leftover material from Elizabeth's dress was made into curtains belonging to Giles and Mary from Gogglebox.

Rumour whipped around the Scottish highlands that the English girls loved capes, turned out they didn’t.

When you want to emulate Caesar's royal red boots, but your cobbler also dresses Kenny Rogers.

Charles realised he needed to restore the monarchy after his Captain Hook work dried up following Cromwell's closure of the theatres.

After realising he couldn't be trusted to dress himself, let alone control taxation, Parliament was forced to look for an alternative.

Front page of the local newspaper: 'Couple Victims of Tulip Hate Crime'

"Nothing else to do but wait for Olivia Colman to remind the public that I existed"

Rumour whipped around Hanover that the English girls loved cuffs, turned out they didn’t.

Unlike his father, George spoke English. His first word was 'taxi'.

Literally an extra in Pirates of the Caribbean.

Actually two sticks in this picture - one in his hand, the other up the back of his shirt to encourage good posture.

Three sticks this time.

The face of a woman who took three hours to get dressed only to be told her husband had just died.

To pass the time spent waiting to inherit the crown, Edward dabbled in Sherlock Holmes cosplay.

"The thing is, as soon as I remove the crown I become a deputy head at a minor public school"

Riddled with indecision. Nine-iron or a wedge? Wallis Simpson or avoiding constitutional crisis?

Anxiously waiting to meet "that guy from Love Actually" who apparently does a good impression of his stammer

In the 1940s, a young Elizabeth aided the national war effort with her drum majorette routines.

my tea is now cold