How to recognize toxic traits in yourself: a thread

not a very easy thread to do for the mere fact we don’t like digesting the fact that sometimes we’re the problem. But it’s a harsh reality that everyone must face at some point in life.

whether you’re toxic in a relationship, or a social circle, or a work environment, or a family situation, or a position of influence//leadership

one of the best things you can do for yourself and others is improve who you are. That starts with identifying toxic traits.

There are plenty but to name a few:

-selfishness
-impatience
-jealousy
-insecurity
-lack of dependability
-lying (even small ones)
-inconsistency
-manipulation
-over dependability on others
-excessiveness
-constant need for attention/validation
-“clout” chasing
-apathy

so what to do?

Honestly it’s something I really wanted to know. Not just something sounds good but something really applicable you know?

It took me a while but I think I got something for you all.

So you know the phrase “Rome wasn’t built in a day?”......

I think that’s the best way to fix yourself. Brick by brick.

Behavior is learned and can be unlearned. Especially toxic ones. But it can be overwhelming trying to immediately be someone you’re not. So piece by piece. Step by step. Rebuild.

Depending on the situation it could look like anything from being more apologetic.. to being slower to speak.. to consciously telling yourself to be more patient.. to even saying “let me put myself in this person’s shoes” before I respond.
But it’s brick by brick. Day by day.

You can’t change what you’ve already done but you can definitely change what you’re going to do. If you’re too prideful to have these types of conversations with yourself this thread ain’t for you. But if you’re someone like me who’s always looking for improvement or growth...

Just try it out. It’s arrogant and narcissistic to think the person you are now can’t learn more about themselves, that you don’t have flaws and room for improvement.
You can’t expect parents/friends/relationships to always do it for you.

Nah, you do it for you.

And if you learn nothing else, at least learn how to talk to yourself about situations where you were wrong.
“How could i word that better?”
“Was that logical or emotional?”
“How would i feel if that was done to me?”
“Am i being genuine or do i have ulterior motive?”

Etc...