Read on Twitter
ISIBAYA. I’ll arrive an innocent Zulu boy who’s hired to drive Mpiyakhe’s taxis. I’m timid and fragile, and everyone grows very fond of me. Meanwhile I’ve decided that uMpiyakhe ngiyamfuna. I seduce him. I make sure he always catches the lace peeping through my Brentwood. https://twitter.com/sloansaidso/status/1247449971261136896
One day, when I’m dropping off the cash, he asks me: “yini loyogqoke la ngaphantsi we Mfaniseni?”
Me being forward, I just unbuckle my Hermès belt and reveal the lingerie I’m wearing underneath.
He stares silently and finally says: “Bengingasho ukuthi khumula”
Me being forward, I just unbuckle my Hermès belt and reveal the lingerie I’m wearing underneath.
He stares silently and finally says: “Bengingasho ukuthi khumula”
Embarrassment overwhelms me and I quickly pull up my pants with tears in my eyes and I say “Forgive me bhuti” before I quickly run for the door. He grabs my hand and pulls me back to him. We look at each other momentarily before falling into a passionate kiss that doesn’t end.
This happens every evening from then on. I drive, drop off the cash, and he drops off his babies. It becomes an intense love affair and we fall in love however we have to keep it on the DL because of his status in society.
Mpiyakhe starts giving me money so I can buy new lingerie and other things that make me happy. At some point that isn’t enough and he starts gifting me his old taxis when new ones arrive. No one notices... except loya sisi uMkabayi. Ave eyibanga iminciza shem.
She confronts uSengwayo about imfihlo yethu and he denies it. She’d caught him with boys before when he was a cow herding teenager, but she thought he grew out of it since he has many wives.
Unsatisfied with the outcomes, she comes to threaten me in my own home.
Unsatisfied with the outcomes, she comes to threaten me in my own home.
Mkabayi: Mfanah, ngiyayazi lemkhuba oyigila nomfowethu.
Mfaniseni: Yebo. Unenkingon?
Mkabayi: (soap opera threatening whisper) lalela la, into esingayithandi lay’khaya siyayisusa. Nawe sizokwenza njalo.
Mfaniseni: Ake uqale ngalengubo oyigqokile oe, ungakafiki nje kumina.
Mfaniseni: Yebo. Unenkingon?
Mkabayi: (soap opera threatening whisper) lalela la, into esingayithandi lay’khaya siyayisusa. Nawe sizokwenza njalo.
Mfaniseni: Ake uqale ngalengubo oyigqokile oe, ungakafiki nje kumina.
Next day Mpiyakhe tells me they’re coming to kill me and I should leave. Uyehheni!
I pack my things and make means to take everything I’ve accumulated via Mpiyakhe: Taxis, money, giftsss, donations...
But my heart is broken. He didn’t even try to fight for me.
I pack my things and make means to take everything I’ve accumulated via Mpiyakhe: Taxis, money, giftsss, donations...
But my heart is broken. He didn’t even try to fight for me.
Anyway, life goes back to normal for the Zungus after they’ve gotten rid of me. His wives are happy and business is booming...
Meanwhile, somewhere far away, I’m seen counting cash in a huge mansion with golden details everywhere.
Meanwhile, somewhere far away, I’m seen counting cash in a huge mansion with golden details everywhere.
I’ve been building a secret empire with things I accumulated from dating taxi bosses namagintsa over the years. I run this operation le bo chommie. We speak isingqumo (a queer Zulu dialect) and we know our way around guns and men. Asisabi lutho and we are plotting to strike back.
