Best football phrases/sayings, A thread:

“Not fit to wear the shirt” This here, is a classic. Often used when a player is being lazy, or having an off game. Top saying.

“Not my ball mate” or “His game” and “My ball my rules” Often used in primary school, the golden era. But also said by the selfish little pricks that think they are prime rooney. Twats.

“Tap in Merchant” Someone who is highly overrated, however only scores sweaty goals. Like pele, Cavani, Kane (sometimes).

“Bagsy not in net” Used by absolutely fannys that are scared of the ball and fear standing in between the sticks.

‘Top bagger’ a goal machine.

‘Brexit football’ players who don’t fear owt.

‘Hunters finish’ Don’t really know what it means just heard the god Martin Tyler say it so yeh.

“Couldn’t cross a road” Someone who literally cannot cross the fucking ball.

“Spanner feet” Or “Two left feet” Basically someone who is proper wank at ball, doesn’t know ball and needs to just retire x

“How high do you want the goal” Can be funny however often used by mouthy twats that think they are top bagsmen.

“Should’ve gone to spec savers” Often shouted towards a crap goalkeeper as abuse.

“Top nickel” Top bins, top corner of the goal.

“Sweet as a nut” When the ball is struck perfectly, Amazing saying for an amazing occurrence.

“Referees a wanker” Yeh used every game in the EFL because all the referees are, indeed WANKERS.

“Liquid football” Fluid ball, ball just getting knocked about to and throw.

“Grab the game by the scruff of the neck” When the captain or centre mid just bosses the park. Literally takes control of the game.

“Left back in the changing room” People who say this are either 10 years old or think they are prime peter kay. Shut up.

And that, ladies and gentlemen concludes the thread, cheers. If you have heard any of these or found any of them funny. Would help alot to like.

also, in addition to the tweet above, i made this thread purely out of boredom, hope you enjoyed. Stay at home, save lives.