Can we talk about "Neutrality" for a second? By this, I mean the privilege to engage in a discussion about issues which do not personally affect you. Issues which you are perfectly capable of debating without emotional involvement, because you have no first hand experience.

Or, more particularly, because you could never experience it.

I'm talking about issues like gender based violence, abortion, rape culture, racism.

The reason I am bringing this up is that it ties into tone policing of discussion.

We often hear somebody telling another commentator to "calm down", to express him / herself better in discussions like this. What this in effect does is it shuts down the conversation because, very often, when you are emotionally triggered, you can't discuss things rationally.

There are real physiological responses within the person's brain which make that impossible. By telling a person in that situation to calm down and not post until they can talk rationally, you are telling them not to discuss it, because chances are they will never be able to.

You are shutting them down. Think about that, next time you are tempted to say such a thing. YOU are the one in control of your emotions here, YOU should be able to step back, see the response for what it is, engage with the issues, and not be hurt.

Use your privilege for good

Create a space where people who don't have that privilege can safely express what they need to express, back them up if you agree with them on the issues. Tell off those who are trying to shut them down. Stop people from bullying them.They need your voice, not your admonishment

Please read the rest of the thread