the big Lesbian realization that any man i was ever interested in the past was either completely unattainable (i.e. a celebrity or fictional character) or felt that way (i.e. "popular" boys in high school or a grade above mine)

i broke up with the only man (boy, i was 16 lol) i ever officially dated because he told me he loved me and it felt extremely disappointing and from that point everything he did grated on my nerves to the point that i was just avoiding him at every possible moment

a year later was the first time i ever seriously considered being interested in girls; 3 years later i came out to my parents as bisexual

5 years later i cried on the train while texting @martyrsdaughter about how i didn't want to ID as bi anymore and she told me "you can be a lesbian if you want to" and i hadn't even realized i felt i needed permission

and now 8 years later-- i'm 24, a lesbian, and vibin

i think we're continuously growing, and learning to be kind to ourselves can be a constant practice but it's worth it. actively ID'ing as a lesbian is the kindest thing i've ever done for myself