What if a totally toxic dank meme forced media distancing?

Min 6 minutes between tweets, likes. Max 2 retweets per tweet. Non-essential bluechecks required to shut down op-ed/take-tweeting (only essential beat-reporting bluechecks can tweet).

It would have asymptomatic transmission — normies would RT without understanding but the cool kids would die of cringe

Politicians would announce “shelter in DMs” policies

Waldenponds would be overwhelmed with people digital detoxers. Hospital ships with 1000-pond capacity would be moored by major cities. Stores would run out of wood and axes for chopping.

I’m unreasonably pleased with myself for coming up with this premise

Hilarious how few likes and RTs this thread is getting