life is hard and
sometimes there’s no poetic way to express just how tired you are
or how unmotivated or numb you are
or how you really have very little hope
even though i keep trying it doesn’t mean i’m enjoying it
and i can’t stop thinking about the end
even though there is

so much light and love infront of me
and i know just how fortunate i really am
but i can’t figure out what the point is
of all of this
i can’t help but feel greedy and poisoned with human gluttony and greed
and i know there is no real point
no rules; just us humans
but

it is all so heavy
even at my most positive day all i can see is the hour glass
watching every single drop of sand fall to the bottom
counting each hour, each day until
i am surrounded by blackness
there is no point, we are just supposed to enjoy the present moment but

i just really can’t