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tw// drugs, sexual assault, nth room, pandemic
some of you will believe me. some of you will not. and most of you don& #39;t give a shit.
but here& #39;s a full explanation on... everything
some of you will believe me. some of you will not. and most of you don& #39;t give a shit.
but here& #39;s a full explanation on... everything
[PLEASE READ TILL THE END. nothing in here excuses the way I& #39;ve acted. I just want to be completely honest with everyone about what happened]
Regarding the nth room conversation:
this is taking a lot to say, so please be kind.
when I was eight I was sexually abused. I know all too well that sexual abuse (or abuse in general) is never the victims fault. so when the nth room thing was sent to the gc
when I was eight I was sexually abused. I know all too well that sexual abuse (or abuse in general) is never the victims fault. so when the nth room thing was sent to the gc
I freaked out. I said things with the intention of making sure no one found out what happened to me. but they were poorly worded and it just backfired and made me sound like a judgemental asshole.
the thing about being from Africa was an explanation that I came up with, for why I was even asking about how to protect myself in the first place. although I really did live there for half my life... I used it instead of saying why I was really asking those questions.
I didn& #39;t feel comfortable telling the gc that the real reason I was focusing on if/how the victims could have avoided it was because I& #39;m scared that it
might happen to me.... again. but I didn& #39;t handle it properly. like at all. I acted out of fear. and instead of trying to cover up that part of my life, I should have just muted the chat and looked for news articles or something for the information I need to protect myself.
I was so caught up in the fear of people finding out what had happened to me that I didn& #39;t pay attention to how my comments would make others feel...
I was a selfish coward. and for that I am so sorry.
I was a selfish coward. and for that I am so sorry.
Regarding s/an& #39;s predebut photos:
its true that society where I live has subconsciously effected me. but I would never had made such jokes in my right mind. I was high as a kite yesterday when I said the things about his predebut photos, "16/17 year olds fucking", and even all of those original apologies.
I was on opioids because of the jaw surgery I had a few months ago. I& #39;m supposed to take them in emergencies if I feel extreme pain. because of the whole pandemic situation I was unable to go to the hospital. so I took the perscribed drugs and they fucked with my head.
when I came down, I fell asleep. but then I woke up and saw what I& #39;d done. I vomited. I still can& #39;t believe that I made comments just like the person who did that awful thing to me. and I& #39;ll have to live with that for the rest of my life.
everything that happened was due to my own behavior and because of how I am lacking. I am the one who fucked up. I tweeted irresponsibly under the influence. I made insensitive comments. I hurt/triggered many people who have been through the same thing (or worse) as me.
I am deeply, deeply sorry for all of this. I am sorry to s/an for sexualizing him as a minor (something I swore to myself I& #39;d never do). I am sorry to the victims of the nth room. I am sorry to all of my friends and moots whose trust I have broken. I do not expect forgiveness.
