Honestly about to chuck this book in the bin. Its impossible to write just now for a start. Then theres the not insignificant issue that every time I make some progress (having had to redraft multiple times to account for Brexit) we go through another paradigm shifting crisis.

The only way I can actually do this is if I just do a buzzfeed style list of unrelated 5000 word gripes and observations about social issues. Tying a book together coherently when the issues are constantly recontextualised by momentous events is fucking futile and demoralizing

I realise this won't rank highly on most people's hierarchy of concerns and rightly so but it is a big issue for me. Lost so much work. Taking pay cuts. kids make writing at home impossible. My whole operation is seizing up while I'm still paying out for everything.

Because I did so well last year I don't qualify for support yet everything coming in goes to hmrc. So basically just trapped now in a mad cycle of work and paying debt coz of one crazy year. Finishing book 2 is the key to breaking the cycle but it just gets harder every day.

I'm actually up at 1.59am thinking about this dumb shit man.

On the plus side I can go for a pee which means I won't have to get out of bed to do it later. #everycloud