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TW: Sexual assult
Like most of you guys I've been disgusted by the utter lack of acknowledgement of the allegations against Biden, and I wanted to talk about a perspective that I think is really important, which is how to deal with someone your close to or look up to is accused
Like most of you guys I've been disgusted by the utter lack of acknowledgement of the allegations against Biden, and I wanted to talk about a perspective that I think is really important, which is how to deal with someone your close to or look up to is accused
My first political hero was Al Franken. He went to my high school, I met him on a trip to DC in middle school, and I was drawn into activism and policy by his amazing work protecting internet privacy. When he was accused, I was devastated. I felt betrayed by his actions and was
utterly disgusted. But, I looked to the leadership of the #metoo 
movement and their fight for accountability, and that helped me and taught me that it's unacceptable to just call out one side. As a naive, sheltered high schooler that was the closest an allegation had been to me
movement and their fight for accountability, and that helped me and taught me that it's unacceptable to just call out one side. As a naive, sheltered high schooler that was the closest an allegation had been to me
At the start of this school year, one of my favorite people in my life was accused. It's a earthshaking event that hits you with feelings of anger, sadness, betrayal, and strongest of all, guilt. You know this person as their best self, and it's devastating learning the truth.
When it happened, I had no idea how to proceed. The first days after I learned, I was devastated. He was one of my rocks, a person I would text first, and the guilt you feel longing that connection is awful. Your head with try to rationalize it, create scenarios where he can
still hold a place in your life. I was lost and scared, and I didn't know what to do. So, as I had done with Al, I listened to the victims. 3 days after the assault, I picked up Chanel Miller's Know My Name, sat down, and promptly finished it by the next day.
Her words gave me the strength and the perspective to do something I wouldn't have been strong enough to do alone. Hearing the trauma she endured through the system in pursuit of accountability silenced the voices in my head calling for me to "just move on"
In one of her chapters she describes how Brock had friends, ex's, parents, and teachers write letters in support. And in response she says,
"During trial, the jury was forced to pick; is he wholesome or is he monstrous. But I never questioned that any of what they said about him was true. In fact I need you all to know it was true. The friendly guy who helps you move and assists senior citizens in the pool is the...
...same guy who assaulted me. One person can be capable of both. Society often fails to wrap its head around the fact that these truths often coexist, and they are not mutually exclusive. Bad qualities can hide inside a good person."
Chanel's book helped me rationalize the person I knew with the person she knew, and lead me to the most important piece of advice of this thread, which is that you MUST hold your friends accountable in this moment, especially as his friend.
To be a good friend, you need to dump his actions in his lap, and you demand change. You hold a uncommon power as his friend. He listens to you, he trusts you, and he cares about you and your image of him. You need to use that power as and demand accountability
Sitting down and demanding accountability was one of the hardest things I've ever done. It's also one of the most freeing and healing things I've done. It releases the guilt of being "his friend" and it actually create accountability in a situation where the system can't or won't
Sexual assault hurts more than the accuser. It hurts everyone connected to the situation. Accountability is the only way to turn that hurt into healing. And, men who are reading this, we are a key part in that accountability and need to actually start demanding it from each other
