WAIT!! I was just reminded of an even WORSE dance call experience than my Mamma Mia one...

(A thread) https://twitter.com/thedavidhunter/status/1247230564781998082

At my Rock of Ages dance call, I bumped into my ex girlfriend’s ex boyfriend.

Once more for the people at the back: my EX girlfriend’s EX boyfriend. No grudge there then, surely.

We locked eyes, made semi-awkward small talk and I’ve gotta be honest, I started to sense just the faintest whiff of a grudge.

We head into the audition room and after about ten minutes it becomes quite clear that me and Grudgie are the Dumb and Dumber of this dance call.

“Right!” chirps the Choreogapher, after an hour of teaching, “we’re gonna see you all two at a time...”

“No offence mate” says a surly looking Grudgie, “but I hope we don’t get paired together - I need to copy someone who knows what they’re doing.”

None taken mate.

Limber, dancer-types with excellent sportswear (I borrowed some shorts off my brother) are drafted in two-by-two to wow the panel and as each of them pirouettes away, it becomes clearer and clearer that Grudgie and I are in this together.

Our names are called and we stride confidently into the centre of the room, hoping our boyish charm is enough to mask our complete lack of dancing ability.

I take a breath. I’m nervous. This is my first West End dance call and I’d like it to go well. It won’t of course, because of that complete lack of dancing ability, but still...

The routine buzzes around my head and tries desperately to make sense of itself. Adrenaline swirls around beside it and further muddies the messages between my brain and my limbs. I sweat.

And then he speaks.

Less than a split second before we begin, Grudgie turns to me and whispers, “I tell you what. When I woke up this morning, I didn’t think I’d be doing a dance call with YOU”

“And a 5, 6, 7, 8!” screams the Choreogapher and we begin!

Or rather HE does. I stand there frozen, realising that not only am I nervous, sweaty and entirely incapable of doing this routine, I’m also hated by my dance partner.

The routine did. not. go. well.

And you probably don’t remember me from the original West End cast of Rock of Ages.