Hey I'm gonna talk about something that really makes my life harder sometimes. Here's a thread on the philosophy of consent, how to use it, and my personal boundaries.
1/?

First off, if you're reading this, you've maybe done this with me. That's okay! Please try to:
1) Keep your feeling-bad about it to a minimum. I'm not mad, I'm just tired!
2) Not message me to apologize. I'll just coddle you!
3) Be aware and not do it again. Thanks!

2/?

I'm someone with a difficult time stopping someone if they haven't asked me. If someone does ask me, I can speak up, but if you don't ask me, I can't. This is clearly a problem when in more intimate situations, but it also comes up in conversations.

3/?

If you start talking at me about something I cannot promise I can ask you to stop. This is something I'm very okay with when I ask you to talk about something! If I ask you how you're doing, I *want* to know about it!

4/?

But like, please ... before telling me about something cool, or showing me something, ask me if I want to hear about it. It's a really small template shift to make, and it takes ALL the pressure off of me to step forward and assert myself.

5/?

I love RPGs a lot. Like, I really do! I CANNOT talk about them much right now. I have a people-pleaser complex and I cannot leave people on read. I need to be able to trust you all to respect my boundaries, and to ask.

6/?

Here's some useful templates:

"Can I tell you about a project I'm working on?"
"Can I show you something cool?"
"I wrote something kinda upsetting. Are you in a place to hear about it?"
"Hey can you validate me?"

7/?

There are exceptions to this, as always. If I tell you you can always send me selfies/talk about your work/etc., I mean it. This isn't me asking you to treat me like a broken doll or to not trust my explicit yes's/no's. I just need you to give me the space to say them.

8/FIN