I wish they sold scales that only let you use them like 4x a year or something because, especially knowing I won’t be able to go to the doc or visit my family back home, I’d like to periodically check what I weigh, but I don’t trust that I wouldn’t hyperfixate if I owned a scale.

It makes me sad as I never cared before, but hypothyroidism making me suddenly gain weight when my whole life I’d struggled to keep it on, family members’ reactions to this, doctors weaponizing it to gaslight me, MCAS destroying my relationship with food, & the whiplash of people

telling me my whole life I must be anorexic/vain & making snide comments about my body being too thin suddenly telling me I’m lazy/undisciplined & making snide remarks about being too fat has really messed up my body image. There’s no weight that can’t be seen as a moral failing.

And no weight doctors can’t weaponize. Be too thin and your illnesses will be blamed on an eating disorder (people with mast cell disorders are often misdiagnosed as anorexic & their food limitations seen as a dietary choice rather than an attempt to stay alive). Be too fat and

you’re just out of shape & need to take better care of yourself & couldn’t possibly have any “real” health problems. One doc kept telling me this while not mentioning that my thyroid counts had been increasingly bad. She also told me (a POTS patient!) to “just lay off the salt”.

It was great though, the nurse kept actively undermining her about this. Like doc’d tell me to eat low-fat yogurt and sadness and then the nurse would come in and pointedly tell my partner to take me out for ice cream. She knew the doc was full of shit, but couldn’t quite say it.

Shockingly, since going to a doc who actually tells me my thyroid counts, doesn’t blame my illnesses on my weight, & trusts that my allergies/POTS dietary needs are real, I’ve been consistently losing weight & am getting back down to my college weight. But the fear is still there

It’s less about how I look than how I know it will be perceived by doctors and laypeople who already look for excuses to tell me why I’m not really sick/disabled & blame me. And people who care more about what I weigh/how I look/that I appear productive than my actual health.

So, yeah, seasonal scale. I would buy it.