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28 and still squatting...
Not married...
No savings...
AND still
Trying to survive a Pandemic
With COVIDIOTS!
Short needlework below
Not married...
No savings...
AND still
Trying to survive a Pandemic
With COVIDIOTS!
Short needlework below
Aha!
No, no, no. Wait!
I just turned 28
! Not 18 o, as in 18 plus another 10! So what I'm trying to tell myself is that for ten years, ten whole years I've done nothing but add year after year to my age! 
As in it doesn't hit you at 18 o...mba
No, no, no. Wait!
I just turned 28
! Not 18 o, as in 18 plus another 10! So what I'm trying to tell myself is that for ten years, ten whole years I've done nothing but add year after year to my age! As in it doesn't hit you at 18 o...mba
It hits You at 28! Or maybe for you it's a different age but the point is e go hit You!
It'll feel as though your head is about to fragment into tiny microscopic shards and your gut will make you think you have an incessant bout of diarrhea
. You'll feel numb and uninterested
It'll feel as though your head is about to fragment into tiny microscopic shards and your gut will make you think you have an incessant bout of diarrhea
. You'll feel numb and uninterested
It will be the worst time to fall in love and the best time to be a cunt.
Ah 28! What a year to be alive!
Damn it!
It's not like I didn't try to run away from home at 11 o, i did. Didn't make it past the first floor window but...but...
I did pack my bags
Ah 28! What a year to be alive!
Damn it!
It's not like I didn't try to run away from home at 11 o, i did. Didn't make it past the first floor window
but...but...I did pack my bags
It was a good try for an 11 year old trying to stifle her fathers' plans of sending her back to some overrated, not so gigantic "Giant of West Africa" country. 
He won in the end.
Second time I tried "being my own woman" was when I was 13
My people, I tell you, this shit
He won in the end.
Second time I tried "being my own woman" was when I was 13
My people, I tell you, this shit
Was serious for me! I bought a map, sold my phone (love you Dad), packed (again 
), got my cousins in on "the escape" and planned to trek through Nigeria until we burst out at the Cameroon border...
Just imagine the nonsense
My cousins sold me out anyway
love you Dad), packed (again ), got my cousins in on "the escape" and planned to trek through Nigeria until we burst out at the Cameroon border...Just imagine the nonsense
My cousins sold me out anyway
Thank heavens!
After that, I decided I'd play it safe till I was 18. Nigeria had a better idea - strip her of all these wild imaginations of escaping the wonderful prison that is her motherland until all she knows is constant negativity and frustration.
Nigeria won...
After that, I decided I'd play it safe till I was 18. Nigeria had a better idea - strip her of all these wild imaginations of escaping the wonderful prison that is her motherland until all she knows is constant negativity and frustration.
Nigeria won...
For a while.
At 18 my best escape was Uni, so a baby girl finally packed up and left home for the first time...right into her Uncle's house
Dah! Well, at least I been don commot for house na even if na just 100km in another direction
I still dreamt of the day I'd finally
At 18 my best escape was Uni, so a baby girl finally packed up and left home for the first time...right into her Uncle's house
Dah! Well, at least I been don commot for house na even if na just 100km in another direction
I still dreamt of the day I'd finally
Have my own house and make my own life.
I sha made it through school (gist for another thread), made it through some dumb relationships (Kai, the patriarchy mentality and sheer immaturity of most Nigerian men is highly irrefutable, this is a totally personal outlook btw)
I sha made it through school (gist for another thread), made it through some dumb relationships (Kai, the patriarchy mentality and sheer immaturity of most Nigerian men is highly irrefutable
, this is a totally personal outlook btw)
And also taught myself how to be unforgivingly frugal - if I no get money how I want take get house!
But trying to save money in Nigeria will shock you, it will embarrass you, it will reject you! But na try we must still dey try o
But trying to save money in Nigeria will shock you, it will embarrass you, it will reject you! But na try we must still dey try o
Finally rented my first apartment during NYSC and had a year of living my dream! I had a house to myself.
No "madam wake up and clean, cook, wash, drill, fix, stop being idle, stop watching TV, go out, stay home, stand, sit, fly!"
Don't get me wrong, I still did these things
and had a year of living my dream! I had a house to myself.No "madam wake up and clean, cook, wash, drill, fix, stop being idle, stop watching TV, go out, stay home, stand, sit, fly!"
Don't get me wrong, I still did these things
Because somehow the daily "madam" taunting above became instilled in me without my knowledge or acceptance 
and I'd already grown up before I knew what was going on! Parents! They will ruin your plans of laziness in the most sneaky ways
The only way I could rebel was to
and I'd already grown up before I knew what was going on! Parents! They will ruin your plans of laziness in the most sneaky ways The only way I could rebel was to
Do these things at my own time and pace!
Anyway, NYSC ended and guess what!
Back to square one! Because - well, that's what life was.
So, again, I start hatching my escape plan...at this time I've started hearing light "marriage" talk, "serious boyfriend" conversations and
Anyway, NYSC ended and guess what!
Back to square one! Because - well, that's what life was.
So, again, I start hatching my escape plan...at this time I've started hearing light "marriage" talk, "serious boyfriend" conversations and
What not!
Oh no no no no no!
Do I look like I'm ready to take care of any over pampered or excessively entitled Pete Edoche wannabes! (Btw, love Pete, utmost respect)
Hell no! Time to move!
And I did! I escaped, finally, straight into another semi drama packed household ugh
Oh no no no no no!
Do I look like I'm ready to take care of any over pampered or excessively entitled Pete Edoche wannabes! (Btw, love Pete, utmost respect)
Hell no! Time to move!
And I did! I escaped, finally, straight into another semi drama packed household
ugh
See, this is how I've been moving from pillar to post for ten years, never quite being able to afford my dream yet not giving up on it either!
Ok, the marriage part is not a big deal, I can't get married if I don't have mine and that's part of the dream.
Ok, the marriage part is not a big deal, I can't get married if I don't have mine and that's part of the dream.
This year started good, got a good job, A great Man 
and finally got the savings to work then boom I'm in the middle of a bloody Pandemic!
A
Pandemic!
Really!
You think you can end the world before I make my dream a reality!
Mbanu! You must be joking!
and finally got the savings to work then boom I'm in the middle of a bloody Pandemic!A
Pandemic!
Really!
You think you can end the world before I make my dream a reality!
Mbanu! You must be joking!
Ok, the world isn't ending yet but turning 28 in self isolation (with two roommates unavoidably ) is not how I planned on spending this time!
So please, stay in your bloody houses, wash your fucking hands, do your part and be your bro/sis' keeper so that all of us with dreams
) is not how I planned on spending this time!So please, stay in your bloody houses, wash your fucking hands, do your part and be your bro/sis' keeper so that all of us with dreams
And futures can bloody well have them in this lifetime!
Stop being/aiding #COVIDIOTS
Love you Mum! Can't stop homemaking even if I tried, now I just need my own home so I can show you who's Boss!
Stop being/aiding #COVIDIOTS
Love you Mum! Can't stop homemaking even if I tried
, now I just need my own home so I can show you who's Boss!
