okay this is the last time i’m tweeting about this stupid unemployment thing, but y’all have no idea how stressful and anxiety inducing it is to be the sole translator between your parents and their (former?) bosses

i might have been doing this since i was a kid, so you’d imagine i’d build up some confidence and immunity to the anxiety, but the stress doesn’t get any less worse as you get older

if anything, i feel even MORE out of my element and more pressure to say the right thing because everything, my parents’ livelihoods, their careers, their reputations, are in my hands to destroy or cement; like i’m so much more aware of it now

the anxiety is so bad, i literally was sweating this morning from having to text my dad’s (former?) boss. i absolutely refused to read the previous text, i just made my dad tell me what he wanted me to text back

and now i’m in the middle of eating lunch and my mom asks me to text her boss for her and my heart is pounding my hands are shaking and i feel so fucking hot!!! i hate it here oh my god

my mom was like you can text her after you finish eating but i’m like NO, i want to do it now, i want to get it over with

i’m happy to do this for my parents and i know it’s important, but damn the whole experience fucking scares me. like, yeah it’s just emailing and texting and sometimes, heaven forbid, speaking on the phone, but there’s so much on the line. SO MUCH.

okay i think i’m done thanks twitter you’re a great place sometimes

rereading this thread is a trip...i’ve known i had depression...but i always doubted the anxiety diagnosis...lmao i’m such a clown