Let me tell you, frends, trying to arrange a shotgun wedding during a pandemic is not child's play.

Wait, is it still a "shotgun wedding" if nobody's pregnant and the motive for haste is health insurance during a pandemic?

The Justice of the Peace's office was very rude and sarcastically suggested the judge could marry us over Zoom, then seemed startled when I agreed that'd be fine.

She told me to call back once we get the license in a few weeks (we have an appointment), at which point "the quarantine will probably be over", then seemed even more startled when I panic-laughed and said I very much doubted that.

She seemed to be dealing predominantly with, like, Upset Summer Brides Wishing To See A Manager (and I sympathize with her because that sounds like a new level in Dante's hell) but unprepared for the reality that people are going to be marrying in a rush for medical insurance.

I very much expect this to be a new trend as ableds slowly sink in the fact that no one is safe from this virus, no, not even if you usually Never Get Sick.

Also, to be clear: This is kind of our "health insurance wedding" and we're going to have an actual celebration much later. With, like, swords and possibly some kind of goth cosplay and definitely kickass vows and maybe a duel. <3