Man, so I know people have talked about how, at Cloud Recesses, Meng Yao was wearing the little hair bob that Nie Huaisang is wearing in the flashback? And how it's an extra sign of his betrayal because he was accepted into the family with an heirloom?

But the angle where Meng Yao thinks of it as a worn-out hand-me-down, the same way that rich people gave their older clothes to servants or feast leftovers were put out for beggars. Remember the way that Nie Huaisang whisper-calls his name at the gift presentation?

Remember the little smile on Meng Yao's face when Dad calls him by his courtesy name, and he rolls into the Wen hall wearing his shiny new Jin-colored kicks and hat? He has to kick his robes to get them over the entryway and I s2g gives them an extra flip.

So there's this deep, sad vein where, like -- neither interpretation is wrong, but there's a real deep element of class difference, where NHS may not have realized the insult he was giving somebody he genuinely liked and trusted

It's old money versus new money, in a lot of ways. And Meng Yao should have been able to prioritize the intent, but because of his very real damage, plus that being exactly how he'd put someone in their place -- he almost can't.

And you can see how the brothers-in-arms style of the Nie would enable NMJ and NHS to be less sensitive to this. Like, to NMJ, if he says Meng Yao is a vice-general, Meng Yao is the vice general, observe the fucking chain of command

Whereas the Lan, with all their fucking grades of distinction -- no ribbon, yes ribbon but no cloud ornament, ribbon with cloud ornament and headgear, ribbon with cloud ornament and big FUCKOFF headgear -- will have an entire emotional vocabulary for this

And Lan Xichen being Lan Xichen knows how to take the subject delicately, how to reassure JGY in just the right way about it, is willing to play the little social games of bowing and him putting his hands on JGY and saying he shouldn't

And it's wild! But it works for them! JGY fucking eats it up with a spoon, and you can tell from the look on LXC's face that he doesn't mind -- he likes being able to be kind, he likes being gentle, he fucking loves being good to JGY.

excuse me while i climb into a fucking bucket and cry about 3-zuns and class and nie huaisang