allowing myself to heal is so weird like I have to actually... DEAL with my emotions n allow myself to FEEL this way and process these feelings n then somehow get over how I feel in a healthy way that isn’t drugs,sex,or alcohol related but I’m gonna try super hard this month :-)

I coped with my emotions by always being busy and being around my friends I love very much and with quarantine happening I’ve had time to actually sit and realize I’m not ok with past trauma and I need to PROCESS everything I’m feeling and hopefully progress to a healthier state

every time I’m sad or mad or feeling any negative emotion I sorta just bottle it up, say idc and go to the club n see all my friends the constant fast lifestyle I had always kept me so stimulated I thought I REALLY didn’t care and I actually didn’t have time to be sad abt things

the world slowing down is kinda giving me some clarity on myself and others in my life. time to reflect and deeply take in my inner thoughts and feelings

I need a really good hard cry because I deserve it