Some personal stuff, unrelated to LP, feel free to ignore <3 //

I was battling with a major physical health complication back in Nov-Dec'19, which was pretty dangerous, but a silent problem, meaning that I wasnt bed ridden or anything, it was just a part ofmy normal life. (1/?)

The only cure for it is a miracle and/or a surgery. The doctors said they surgery at this age isn't right so maybe we really have to hope for a miracle. I got very scared, mental health issues were enough to deal with and then I got a dangerous health condition. (2/?)

It made a huge impact on my life. I kept it a secret mostly. I cried, thought that i don't ever deserve happiness. Tried all medications, went for weekly ultrasounds and stuff, did everything I can. No words can explain my mental state during those days. (3/?)

And then a miracle happened. The doctors said that whatever the problem was, it sort of shrinked. Maybe antibiotics or young age or smth, but the complexity of it is gone. I realize how underrated being "illness-free"/"physically fit" is. It was unreal. I cried for nights. (4/?)

And then fast forward to now, the symptoms of the problem I had are back again. My ultrasound was anyway due after 3 months. Worst part is that those symptoms are intensified x10 times. The pain etc, is so much more, and it's probably because his time, that real big. (5/?)

I don't know what will happen. I will have to wait for a few days because of the lockdown. I'm trying as hard as I can to be mentally strong but it is so hard. I am trying to sound normal, hide and live on like nothing is wrong when idk what might happen the next second. (6/?)

I will hope for a second miracle. I will try to live each second, make the best out of it if I can. I'm in so much pain right now but I know that I love and care for people and don't intend anything bad for anyone. I don't deserve blackness in every aspect of my life. (7/?)

I just ask for your prayers and wishes. Nobody needs to reply or like this or even read this, but if you read this, just keep your fingers crossed. You mean a lot to me. Thank you for your friendship and kindness. Sending you lots of love.

~ Janhvi

(8/8)