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CW: NSFW, discussing BDSM, Dom/Sub stuff, consent, and me having a bad day and basically having to step out of domspace with my sub.
1. I have permission to share this story.
2. I want to really challenge the idea that doms get to & #39;take out their frustrations& #39; on their subs.
1. I have permission to share this story.
2. I want to really challenge the idea that doms get to & #39;take out their frustrations& #39; on their subs.
3. I have a friend I& #39;m in a dom (me) / sub (him) relationship with and we& #39;re not full time because a) distance and b) jesus who has the time, but today was a bad day. Today was a really bad day.
Now me and *pup (for all intents and purposes for your sake - names removed) are involved in a scenario where he& #39;s being denied to pleasure himself. However after the day I& #39;ve been having I realise that I cannot be a dom for this guy today. I can& #39;t give him what he needs.
I realise I cannot be the dom today because being a dom is something that requires a lot of discipline and restraint and responsibility.
Today put me in a really dark place with work and with money that was stolen from me and I knew right now that there is no way I can be a dom in any meaningful way.
Does this make sense? I feel like I& #39;m talking in circles.
Does this make sense? I feel like I& #39;m talking in circles.
4. Also have you ever had such a bad say that you genuinely doubt everything that comes out of your mouth. "Did I say that?" "Should I explain that again?" "Did I use the right words?" Today is cancelled. Start again. Thank you.
5. But yes. Being a dom isn& #39;t a licence to do as you wish. Consent is still very important. And if you as a dom find yourself in a space where you think you might cause harm, where you think you might not be emotionally right enough to take on the responsibility, step out.
6. I promise you your sub will understand. 90% of the time your sub loves and cares as much about your well being as you do about them. And doms, it& #39;s okay if your sub sometimes takes care of you.
7. Subs out there, just because they& #39;re your dom doesn& #39;t mean they can just do anything without your permission. Consent is key.
8. Oh oh oh, also doms! You don& #39;t have to be the stoic, emotionally dead, greater-than-thou persona 100% of the time. It& #39;s okay to be vulnerable. It& #39;s okay to confide in your subs. It& #39;s okay to ask for help from your sub. Power shifts. You can be mean strict-dom-tomorrow again.
9. Just a lol:
"You& #39;re not like the doms in porn."
"Honey, nobody is, not even the actors who play them."
"You& #39;re not like the doms in porn."
"Honey, nobody is, not even the actors who play them."
